One of the nice things about having a blog is that it gives me a place to vent my feelings. I plan to take advantage of that today, so if you aren't in the mood to hear my rant you'll probably want to skip this post.
I had an appointment EARLY this morning with a new specialist who came highly recommended by another specialist whom I respect and like. I have been having a lot of health issues and was really hoping that this doctor would be part of the answers I am seeking. Although exhausted I spent time last night making sure I had all of my information together in an organized fashion so I would be prepared today, because early morning isn't my best time.
I got to the appointment early since I hadn't been sent any paperwork to fill out and I wanted to be ready at the scheduled time. No one was there until after my scheduled appointment. I was finally able to sign in and received the appropriate clipboard full of nonsense we all fill out each time we start with a new doctor. I patiently filled everything out, adding my typed sheets of illnesses and allergy/medications. I even had my insurance card clipped at the top for the clerk. Eventually I was called back into a room where I waited about 20 mins. before a resident entered and proceeded to take a history from me and ask why I was there today. I pointed out my typed sheet of current complaints that brought me in. In fairness, the resident did her best to get a complete history and to try to hone in on the main issue I was there about. She left after about 45 mins. to go copy some records I provided her and to bring the doctor in.
The doctor poked her head in about 5 mins. later, looking for the intern. The doctor was a bit short and rude, but I gave her the benefit of the doubt. When she and the intern finally entered the room, the doctor made it clear that she was not happy that my mother was in the room with me. As a side note, I had asked my mom along for a couple of reasons; I needed the support and help physically getting there, I wanted another set of ears and also someone who could help to back up what I was saying because my mom and I live together so she is quite aware of what is happening with me and finally because my mom is looking for this particular type of specialist herself, and this would give her a chance to see the doctor at work and decide if she might be interested in seeing her.
The doctor was rude and impatient with both myself and the resident. She did an examination of me that literally had me in tears from the pain, and she not only ignored this, but told me calm down so she could hear my breath through the stethoscope! No "I know this may be painful, but I have to do it, sorry" from this one!
She then proceeded to fight with me about my illness, about medication I am on for another condition and to ignore my repeated requests that we deal with a specific issue I had come about that is concerning me.
Finally I had had enough and I got up off the exam table and said, "obviously this isn't going to work out, we clearly aren't going to be able to communicate or work together". I slipped on my shoes and watched as the resident picked her jaw up off the floor. The doctor was happy to see me go, she had made up her mind before walking in the room that I was a "problem" patient and she had no desire to help me.
Although this isn't the first such experience I have ever had, I have to say each time it happens I am truly upset. I feel cheated. I wasted my precious energy on this idiot. Now I am still dealing with the problem that sent me there, but I am also in terrible pain from her "examination" and I am exhausted, emotionally and physically, from the whole ordeal.
This is the type of thing that a healthy person could probably shake off quickly, but because I deal with so many doctors and have such limited energy it becomes upsetting and frustrating for me. I will have to try again with another doctor, but for today I am headed to bed in the hopes I can put the whole horrible incident out of mind and get some rest.
7 comments:
Maureen
I am so sorry you had to go through this. I really am tired of doctors treating those who are ill like they are an in-convenience! It is their job for heavens sake to HELP to LISTEN to SUPPORT.
I have had the same experience and was very guarded when I met my Lyme Dr. two years ago...but I have learned that I can trust her..she LISTENS she CARES she respects us and wants to HELP. I pray that you can find the same kind of doctor. For me the drs. who practice integrative medicine are the most helpful...take the time....respect the patients.
Take care..hope the pain lets up soon...
Gentle hugs and prayers
Hi Maureen,
That doctor was a pig, fancy treating you like that.
Well done for taking control and leaving.
Hope you find a doctor who will listen to you.
Hope you have a good day tomorrow.
Love,
Herrad
I am sorry to hear about your experience with that doctor! What a horrible thing she did to you! I can understand how hard it would be to shake the terrible feelings she left you with. Most doctors I have been to have treated me fair... except for 1 dentist!
Posts like this are exactly the reason I enjoy reading blogs such as yours -- you write about what many of us are experiencing, & let us know we are not alone. Despite the recommendations of many of my friends & family, I am NOT "anti-doctor," but appointments like the one you described are extremely frustrating! I applaud you for recognizing the fact that you & that doctor would not be capable of working together. I am typically able to take at least one helpful tidbit of information from each new doctor, even if I have no intention of seeing him again -- that way it feels as though it wasn't a total waste of my time. Hopefully by now you have rested & "treated" yourself in such a way that you are blissfully past this incident so you can tackle another day. :)
Maureen-- I'm so sorry and to sad to hear you had to go through this. What you went through here is an example of what most of us with complex chronic illnesses go through too many times--a doctor that has made up their mind before they see you and therefore CAN'T truly see you or treat you. The way you were treated is nothing short of discrimination (like racism=judgment for the color of one's skin, you were judged for the contents of your chart--too thick, too complicated--and that you had an advocate with you (which is advised for all who have illnesses which effect cognition).
You were awesome to get up and out of there! Yeah, Maureen! May the next doctor have an open mind, open eyes and a compassionate heart and gentle hands. Sending you warm comforting energy over the miles as I know it takes a lot out of you to go through such an awful experience.
i am at a lose for words..i think you handled that GREAT....:)
Wow! Unfortunately I can say I know what you were feeling and what you went through. I have been there done that. Not that it makes it ok that you went through that at all. I will send a prayer up that you will find a specialist nearby you and one with everything you need. :) If it makes you feel any better, I also care for my mom and bring her with me to many of my appointments for the same reason you pointed out.
I will add both you and your mom into my prayers.
Good luck.
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