I think there might be something wrong with me. At least if how everyone else seems to communicate is any indication. I have tried to care about Facebook and Twitter and the other social networking sites, but I just can't seem to work up any real enthusiasm for them. Am I the only one who feels this way?
Yes, it is true that you can find (or be found by) almost anyone from your past (which is a double edged sword if ever there was one, but that is for another post. . .), but I just can't get that excited by what someone else is watching on TV or eating or thinking every minute of the day. I don't mean to offend anyone if they really enjoy logging in and sharing this information, it just isn't my cup of tea.
I have been thinking about social networking a lot these past few days, mainly because my sister was just here for a visit. We haven't seen each other in over 2 years, so it was wonderful to get together and spend some time with each other. My sister is really into Facebook, so much so that she doesn't e-mail anymore and if I want to find out what is going on with her, I have to check her wall. She also is big into text messaging, and I don't text at all. I think I would hear from her much more if I did text, as she seems to communicate almost solely this way. I've noticed it more and more with everyone. I feel a bit like a dinosaur when it comes to technology. I just don't want to be that connected all the time.
I also wonder if this is due more to my illness. I have always been an extremely social person, outgoing and enjoyed being in touch with others. That has definitely changed as my illness has progressed. Since I generally only have about 4 good hours in any given day I am much more careful in how I spend them. Of course I have things I must do, chores, doctor's appointments, errands and the like. You know what I mean, all the stuff we all have in our lives that takes up time but might not be how we would like to spend it if we had a choice. So some days I have to do those things, and I can't do those and be social in the same day anymore. It isn't physically possible for me. Then there are the things I want to do, which of course includes seeing friends. I guess I would rather see someone in person than check in with 100 people on Facebook. To me the one to one contact is so much more rewarding, and since I am limited in how much I can socialize due to health issues, I want more bang for my buck so to speak. I know other chronically ill folks feels the exact opposite, they feel that they can keep up with more relationships by having Facebook or Twitter as a tool for communicating. I get that, I just feel it is more superficial.
In the end, we all have to make the choices that work best for us. I know there are some people who I will not hear from if I don't use these sites, and it makes me sad, but I miss the days of the handwritten letter and the phone call. I will always be a person who values substance over quantity.
What about you? Do you feel that Facebook or Twitter or texting has been a help or a hindrance in staying in touch with friends and family? Do you miss the older methods of communication, or do you think the advances in technology have far surpassed the downsides? Let me know what you think. . .
9 comments:
That is interesting. Personally I have little time for Facebook. I joined about 6 months ago... mostly cause my daughter is on it. But I have the hardest time getting myself to go over there. Every once in awhile I get an email saying somebody wrote on my wall. I am bad. I haven't been there for about a month!
I enjoy my cat blog lots more!
PS: I apologize for the delay. I came over to read this the other day but was unable to comment. Hope you are ok.
Actually, I love Facebook! Everyone in my class of 1985 reconnected on there and a couple of people put together a reunion party this past Saturday. It was AWESOME and it all happened because of the power of the internet to connect with people from all over the place. Also, Facebook allows me to go through people's photo albums who I hardly know - one of my favorite pastimes! hahaha... but all kidding aside, it's good for keeping up with people who I really care about but don't usually get to see... kind of like, hmmm... I don't know... YOU!?
I miss writing long handwritten letters, and waiting with excitement for the mailman to bring a reply. I had a couple of friends I used to write to every week and get a weekly reply. It was so much more fun than facebook is and the letters were so much more interesting. Then emailing came along and over time I've lost contact with those friends because they were not using the computer. My handwriting stinks now too...typing is so much easier and I hardly ever write anything anymore other than a grocery list. Not so sure technology is all it's cracked up to be.
Hi Maureen,
I saw your guest post, 'Why Do We Pit One Illness Against Another? We're All In This Together' on the National Invisible Illness Awareness Week website and I really enjoyed and agreed with it.
I also very much understood and agreed with you about this post concerning all the social networking sites and people's dependence on them. Now, I'm the first to admit that I enjoy some of these sites, particularly Facebook, lots of blogs, occasionally Twitter and a bit of texting - but only because that is the best way to communicate with my teenage daughters when they are not home. However, my life does not revolve around them. I despise it when I am trying to have a conversation with someone and they are constantly checking their texts and/or texting. It is RUDE! Also, I used to be an assistant to a physician and you would not believe how many patients would be on the phone in the waiting room and would continue to STAY on the phone all the way from their chair in the waiting room, during the time they were being weighed in the hallway, all the way to their room where they would be examined and would attempt to continue talking on their 'very important phone call' while I was trying to obtain a history and vital signs on them. Uh, NO!! I can't tell you how many patients I walked out on. Once again, RUDE! No one has manners anymore these days.
OK, off my soapbox. :0) I really do love your articles and I can't wait to read more, so I'm am now following you. I would be extremely honored if you would come by and visit me, too.
In the meantime, I really hope you are having an amazing weekend!
Blessings,
Teresa <><
I joined it years ago to just talk to a couz out of state but then i found that their are alot of migraine pages that i get alot of info on. but ya, even with that i really don't talk on it. i wish people went back to calling me up or writing me a letter.
Hey, my dear...you are not the only one who doesn't care about Facebook...and just in case you're wondering, this is your sister-in-law in CA. I'd much rather speak on the phone or e-mail if I can't 'see' someone in person...and I think that part of the reason that I'm not really interested is that it just takes up too much energy...since I'm also struggling with fibro/lupus, I'd rather spend the time and energy I do have hearing the voices of my loved ones and seeing their faces and giving them gentle hugs...having just lost my dad to lupus, I am grateful that I spoke with him on the phone every day (he was 80 miles away so I couldn't see him too often...I don't travel well and he was completely bed-bound)...I can still hear his voice because we actually spoke every day...and when I miss him, I have those conversations to remember and recall...
I have friends who I don't see or talk to unless it's through Facebook...I have an account with Facebook, but I'm very rarely on it...it's actually a lot to process...I need simplicity, I guess...and I feel like I'm worth more of an effort to contact than just through Facebook if I'm your friend or family member.
So, you're not alone in your opinion, and I totally agree and sympathize with how you feel...being on Facebook is like eating junk food...it fills you up and gives you a 'lift', but it's not that great if you have too much of it and it's only temporary...face-to-face and hearing the voices of those I love are more like vitamins and a good diet...
Love and warm hugs to you...
You put into words what has been circling in my mind for a long time. Communicating via Facebook, Twitter, etc. feels like a replacement for deeper interaction. And it saddens me when I have so much trouble finding like-minded people in my own city. If you don't follow the action on other people's FB walls, you "miss out." I've resisted signing up for my own account -- I just can't buy in.
Found your blog via this one. I'm dealing with ongoing illness too -- still working on a diagnosis. Glad I stopped by.
I'm not one who follows the crowd
Since I too am chronically ill I live my life simply. I do not text and have even cut down on reading many e-mails that are more than two lines long. I like speaking on the phone but at times if those conversations are too long they wear me out. I also enjoy writing but today most people do not do that....Guess it's not fast enough. LOL...Everyone is into speed in this generation.
I find that less is more and try to live life with as little stress as possible as I know that stress is not very good for any illness.
No, you are not alone in thinking fb is more of a hype than real communication. I find it quite boring although I do receive messages from authors I truly do appreciate. Some messages on fb from kids I went to school with in my hometown. Many of them ask if anyone is actually reading their messages. I stopped responding to those messages. If they have to ask then...dah...no one really cares.
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