A Salute To Our Soldiers, Long But Worth It!

A DIFFERENT CHRISTMAS POEM

The embers glowed softly, and in their dim light,
I gazed round the room and I cherished the sight.
My wife was asleep, her head on my chest,
My daughter beside me, angelic at rest.
Outside the snow fell, a blanket of white,
Transforming the yard to a winter delight.

The sparkling lights in the tree I believe,
Completed the magic that was Christmas Eve.
My eyelids were heavy, my breathing was deep,
Secure and surrounded by love I would sleep.
In perfect contentment, or so it would seem,
So I slumbered, perhaps I started to dream.

The sound wasn't loud, and it wasn't too near,
But I opened my eyes when it tickled my ear.
Perhaps just a cough, I didn't quite know, Then the
sure sound of footsteps outside in the snow.
My soul gave a tremble, I struggled to hear,
And I crept to the door just to see who was near.

Standing out in the cold and the dark of the night,
A lone figure stood, his face weary and tight.
A soldier, I puzzled, some twenty years old,
Perhaps a Marine, huddled here in the cold.
Alone in the dark, he looked up and smiled,
Standing watch over me, and my wife and my child.

'What are you doing?' I asked without fear,
'Come in this moment, it's freezing out here!
Put down your pack, brush the snow from your sleeve,
You should be at home on a cold Christmas Eve.'
For barely a moment I saw his eyes shift,
Away from the cold and the snow blown in drifts.

To the window that danced with a warm fire's light.
Then he sighed and said 'It's really alright
I'm out here by choice, I'm here every night.'
'It's my duty to stand at the front of the line,
That separates you from the darkest of times.

No one had to ask or beg or implore me,
I'm proud to stand here like my fathers before me.
My Gramps died at Pearl Harbor on a day in December,
Then he sighed, 'That's a Christmas Gram always remembers.'
My dad stood his watch in the jungles of 'Nam'
And now it is my turn and so, here I am.

I've not seen my own son in more than a while,
But my wife sends me pictures, he's sure got her smile.
Then he bent and he carefully pulled from his bag,
The red, white, and blue. . . American flag.
I can live through the cold and the being alone,
Away from my family, my house and my home.

I can stand at my post through the rain and the sleet,
I can sleep in a foxhole with little to eat.
I can carry the weight of killing another,
Or lay down my life with my sister and brother. . .
Who stand at the front against any and all,
To ensure for all time that his flag will not fall.'

'So go back inside,' he said, 'harbor no fright,
Your family is waiting and I'll be alright.'
'But isn't there something I can do, at the least,
Give you money,' I asked 'or prepare you a feast?
It seems all too little for all that you've done,
For being away from your wife and your son.'

Then his eye welled a tear that held no regret,
'just tell us you love us, and never forget.
To fight for our rights back home while we're gone,
To stand your own watch, no matter how long.
For when we come home, either standing or dead,
To know you remember we fought and we bled.
Is payment enough, and with that we will trust,
That we mattered to you as you mattered to us.'

LCDR Jeff Giles, SC, USN - 30th Naval Construction Regiment - OIC, Logistics Cell One, Al Taqqadum, Iraq

This is what was asked of me: "PLEASE, would you do me the kind favor of sending this story to as many people as you can? Christmas will be coming soon and some credit is due to our U.S. Service men and women for our being able to celebrate these festivities. Let's try in this small way to pay a tiny bit of what we owe. Make people stop and think of our heroes, living and dead, who sacrificed themselves for us."

I am proud to post this and hope you will read it, share it, and say a prayer for our soldiers this Christmas.

Another Lesson In Thankfulness

I am posting the following which I received in an e-mail, I have no idea who the author is, so if anyone knows, please get in touch so I can credit the right person!

Be thankful that you don't already have everything you desire.
If you did, what would there be to look forward to?

Be thankful when you don't know something,
for it gives you the opportunity to learn.

Be thankful for the difficult times.
During those times you grow.

Be thankful for your limitations,
because they give you opportunities for improvement.

Be thankful for each new challenge,
because it will build your strength and character.

Be thankful for your mistakes.
They will teach you valuable lessons.

Be thankful when you're tired and weary,
because it means you've made a difference.

It's easy to be thankful for the good things.

A life of rich fulfillment comes to those who

are also thankful for the setbacks.

Gratitude can turn a negative into a positive.

Find a way to be thankful for your troubles,

and they can become your blessings...

This is true for everyone, but especially important to remember when you battle a chronic illness. I know that I have learned so much through this journey that I might never have learned, and although I don't enjoy being ill, there are positive things that have come from it. I have met some wonderful people, both on-line and in "real" life. I have learned about talents and strengths I possess that I never knew I had. I have let go of perfectionism as my ideal.

I am heading into a challenging week. I have several doctors appointments, which have me worried. My mother has had continuing difficulties with her health since developing C-Diff back in August in the hospital. They are doing a colonoscopy on her on Thursday morning, so we have the prep to get through on Wednesday and then her test. I pray they can figure out what is wrong so she can get some relief. I have a new specialist on Friday for a possible problem with my kidneys. It never ends. So I need to re-read my own post and learn to take the challenges and change them into growing experiences! That doesn't mean I won't ask for your prayers in the meantime though. . .

True Gratitude!

One of my favorite things about blogging are the other incredible bloggers you meet. I participate in Wordless Wednesday and Photo Hunt Saturdays, and through these forums have met bloggers from every country and walk of life. One of my favorites is Terry, from the blog Notes From One Mom. We "met" through our comments on each others photos. Terry, having read my profile, shared with me that she is the caregiver to her husband, who has had a stroke, as well as a patient with a chronic illness herself. I love her writing and her upbeat, positive outlook on life. She had a post on her site about her husband that she had written that touched me so deeply, I asked her permission to share it on my blog. I think it is such a powerful expression of love and understanding, and it certainly made me realize that despite our illness, the ones who really know and love us, see the whole person--not the illness or disability. I hope you will find it as beautiful as I did, and perhaps you will be inspired to write to someone in your life who you are thankful for.

Without further ado, here is the entire post:


Thursday, November 6, 2008
Thursday Thirteen: My Husband, My Hero



This is the month when giving thanks is on our minds. Having almost lost my husband more than once in the past thirteen years, I am grateful for every single day that he is still with us. He is my hero and here are my top thirteen reasons why.

1. He is a survivor. He survived rheumatic fever as an infant, polio as a child, 3 heart attacks before he was 50 and a stroke before he was 60.

2. He doesn't know the meaning of "can't." In between his childhood ailments and his adult illnesses, he played baseball, hockey, college and professional football. He even ran the Marine Corp Marathon when he was 40.

3. He never, never gives up. No matter what life throws at him, he is always positive. His first words after his stroke were, "I love you." His next sentence, although it took 3 days to compose and several minutes and some coaching to voice, was, "It's going to be alright."

4. He is a funny man. He loves to make people laugh. Nowadays he doesn't tell the jokes but he will still appreciate and laugh at yours.

5. I came into his life as a package deal, complete with three sons. He has loved them, helped to raise them, disciplined them, guided them, supported them in the good times and not so good times, and has always, always been there for them.

6. He is driven. Probably a little too driven at times, but that determination is now what enables him to deal with his disabilities on a daily basis. It's what got him walking after his stroke. It's what got him out on the golf course again with a one-arm golf swing. It's what gets him going every single day.

7. He is a supporter to those around him, whether it be me, our children, friends or neighbors, he always encourages those around him to succeed.

8. Not a day goes by, probably not more than a couple of hours, that he doesn't tell me how much he loves me and appreciates me.

9. He is the designated dishwasher loader/unloader in the family. And if I ask him, he will also do floors :)

10. Since his stroke in 2004, he had tried unsuccessfully to read a book - until this summer when he read the New Testament. He worked at it every single day and was as excited as a child who had mastered riding his first bicycle when he finished.

11. He loves life. Although much different than it was or than he expected it would ever be, he is content.

12. He notices and appreciates the details. Coffee and freshly baked muffins, a drive around the island, a walk on the beach, he takes pleasure in the small things that others often take for granted.

13. Last, but not in any way the least, he loves the Lord. And he knows the Lord loves him.


Posted by One Mom at 1:02 AM 6 comments Links to this post
Labels: giving thanks, husband, stroke survivor, Thursday Thirteen

Flare Care

As all of us with chronic illnesses know, some days are better than others health wise.  I am in the middle of a particularly painful flare right now.  Fortunately I have learned over the years to expect these times, and I have certain self care strategies in place to make things more bearable.  If you have lived with any illnesses for a long period of time, you probably know what I am referring to.  If you are new to the world of chronic illness and it's rapidly changing ways, then now is the time to start making your own list of "survival" strategies.  They can range from the very practical to the very whimsical. 

The type of flare I happen to be experiencing right now is made much worse by things like eating, moving or even talking too much.  Because I know this about myself, I have learned to always keep certain foods that I can usually tolerate small amounts of, around the house.  Since staying hydrated means staying out of the hospital (my own personal number 1 goal!), I also keep things like gatorade, individual cans of caffeine-free Coke to flatten (settles my tummy better than most medications without the side effects), bottled or Brita water and an assortment of teas on hand to keep me sipping on beverages throughout the day.  I eat only when I must to take a medicine, knowing that as the pain abates, my appetite will return, and that I will not die from two days or so of improper nutrition.  I have certain pillows that I use to help maintain my position in bed, since I have to sleep sitting up when this happens.  I allow myself the luxury of just washing with a washcloth to avoid the movement and water of the shower, which really increases the pain.

On the less physical and more nurturing side of things, I find it hard to read much due to the pain and the medications I am taking, so instead of whatever book I might be absorbed in at the moment, I always have on hand some good magazine options, some puzzle books and even the occasional catalog.  It gives me something to flip through that doesn't require a lot of focus or thought, but takes my mind off of things for a few moments at a time.  I also keep a supply of funny DVD's, especially TV shows that I really enjoy (Friends, Mad About You, Gilmore Girls, Gidget, That Girl) anything that isn't too heavy and that makes me smile usually helps the pain as well.  I don't answer the phone unless it is necessary.  I use my caller ID to screen calls and let my voice mail pick up most of them.  That way I don't have to expend energy or cause pain trying to explain that talking makes things worse.

Most importantly, I listen to my body.  If anything seems different or strange from my usual "attack", then I contact the doctor.  After many years of going through this I am very good at gauging what will pass and what needs immediate attention.  My advice to anyone is "when in doubt, contact the doctor".  Much better to be safe than sorry that you mistook something more serious or needing immediate attention for just another flare or a new symptom of whatever your own illness is.

Lastly I practice meditation, biofeedback and use visualization.  All of these things can be learned and are helpful in controlling pain, as well as breaking the cycle of fear/anger/resentment that this is happening again.  I use them on a regular basis to help maintain my health, and as another tool when I am in the middle of a flare.  I can't say they make it "all better", but they make it more bearable.  By relaxing my body and my mind, it allows both to have the energy it needs to help me to heal.  Along the same lines, because I am a religious person, I pray.  I find that for me, knowing that God is there makes everything feel less overwhelming and brings me great comfort.

I would love to hear from all of you the types of "flare care" you employ for yourself.  As a group I have never met more creative or resourceful people than those who live with chronic illness.  I am sure we can learn a lot from one another that would be useful to our own situations.

Being A Friend

Last night I had the pleasure of listening to the talk given by Jo Franz during National Invisible Chronic Illness Awareness Week.  Jo's talk was entitled "How To Help Those Who Help Us".  Jo Franz has had Ms since 1977, so she knows of what she speaks.  She has a wonderful website JoFranz which is worth taking a look at.  She has also written a book, "Soar Unafraid:  Learning To Trust No Matter What", which I am looking forward to reading after hearing her speak.

I got to thinking about friendships after listening to the talk.  I think one of the best points made about being a friend to someone with chronic illness is that often people don't realize that the chronic-ness of the illness does not mean that it is going to remain the same.  In fact, for many of us the process is degenerative.  Because of this fact, many times we are left alone and forgotten.  Both Jo and National Invisible Chronic Illness Week founder Lisa Copen, talked about how much it would mean for people who are our friends to check in on us regularly and be consistent in our lives and with their help to us.

All of that got me thinking about what kind of friend I am and what kind of friends I am looking for.  For instance, it is easy when I am battling a flare to let things go, after all, I don't feel well right?  And while I am not one to beat myself up, I also realize that to the best of my ability I need to remain aware of what is happening in my friends lives even when things aren't going so well in my own.  The people I am closest to have always told me how much they appreciate the fact that despite my illness, I make time for them and their problems.  I remember their birthdays, anniversaries and kid's birthdays.  If they are going through a rough patch in their life,  I try to send a card of support or encouragement, or even leave a voice or e-mail message just letting them know they are in my thoughts and prayers.

By being a good friend, I model the behavior I appreciate receiving myself and I get to show my love for the people I care about.  I think it is easy to fall into the trap of feeling let off the hook for some of our friendship responsibilities because we have additional obstacles in our lives.  My experience has shown me that is a dangerous attitude to take.  You let your friends down, and ultimately you let yourself down.  After all, don't we want to treat others as we wish to be treated?

What kinds of things do you do to be a good friend to others?  What things do your friends do to help you that you especially appreciate?  How has someone gone out of their way to help you?  Have you had the opposite experience, such as the one I spoke of in my post on Friendship and Invisible Illness Week?  Please let me know your experiences with being a friend, and with finding friends who are supportive and understanding for the long haul.

Be kind!