A long overdue hello to those of you who have actually hung in there with me through my LONG silence! I will get into more details about the reason for that in another post, but right now I need your help. It seems that some people who are subscribed to my blog posts are getting another blog but it seems to be somehow connected to mine (ie: if you click the link in the e-mail it directs you to a blog by my name but written in a foreign language that doesn't appear to have anything to do with chronic illness and certainly isn't authored by me!). I am wondering if anyone else is having this problem, whether you subscribe via e-mail or feed and if you have any ideas on what might be happening or who I should contact to try to sort it out (those of you who also have Blogspot posts might be able to point me in the right direction).
I would appreciate ANY and ALL input you could share with me. I do intend to resume posting and I don't know if I am going to have to create a new blog and take this one down or if this can be fixed. In the meantime, please do not unsubscribe, give me a chance to work on this, because if I should have to change blogs I won't have any other way of letting you know the new info if you would be so kind as to follow me.
Thanks in advance for your thoughts, my readers are the brightest and best and I know we will figure something out!
Showing posts with label Friendships. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Friendships. Show all posts
Monday, June 27, 2011
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
And The Beat Goes On
Have you ever had so much to say you didn't know where to start? That's how I feel right now writing this post. So much has happened, and yet it would be ridiculous, not to mention novel length, to tell it all. So how to sum up without dismissing the horror of the past few months. . .
Obviously things took a big turn for the worse with the insurance company debacle over covering my pain medicine. That, for the moment, is straightened out. What I have learned along the way is that everything is always hanging by a thread, waiting to fall apart with little or no notice. Because my body was put through so much with out of control pain, I am now on even higher doses of pain medication than I formerly needed. This not only angers me, it costs me more and will in the end cause more problems for me medically. The blame for it sits squarely at the feet of the insurance company, who of course could care less.
Not surprisingly I am having all sorts of other medical issues. Many of these are directly related to the stress my body and mind have been under while fighting to get my pain back in control. I am currently going for testing to see how my pancreas is doing, if there has been further damage and if there is anything else that can be done to help. My immune system is completely shot, so a host of other problems has cropped up as a result of that, continuing infections, malfunctioning parts of my endocrine system, mysterious weight gain and water retention. I have more problems than time in the day to address them.
I am seeing lots of doctors, including quite a few new specialists, who are trying to address the problems - many of them don't have answers. Fortunately, being a veteran of "invisible illness" I am all too familiar with this scenario, so I mostly take it in stride.
In the meantime I have been taking a long, hard look at the things that ARE in my control, and what I am doing to support myself. The first thing that seems to go is self care, which of course is most important. I listened to Jenni Prokopy's first podcast over at ChronicBabe, and although I knew most of the information, it was a nice reminder. Good advice handled with humor and compassion. I recommend checking it out, even if you have been ill for a long time. Sometimes we all need a kick in the pants, and the information she gives, while basic for those of us who have been dealing with chronic illness for a long time, is still helpful.
I am so grateful for the many wonderful e-mails and comments I have received from many of you while I have been struggling. I never cease to be amazed at the amount of love and concern that people have to share, and am humbled that they choose to share it with me. Even though my posts have been erratic and fairly maudlin lately, I have been lifted up by the care and support of each of you who took the time to say you where thinking of me, praying for me, understood what I was going through or just plain cared! Thank you from the bottom of my heart. It is support like this that keeps me going when I feel like I just don't have another fight left in me.
Hopefully my posting will start to be more regular again, and of course I hope to touch on something other than just my illness in each post. Thanks for hanging in there through the dark times and please keep coming back to share the lighter times as well.
Obviously things took a big turn for the worse with the insurance company debacle over covering my pain medicine. That, for the moment, is straightened out. What I have learned along the way is that everything is always hanging by a thread, waiting to fall apart with little or no notice. Because my body was put through so much with out of control pain, I am now on even higher doses of pain medication than I formerly needed. This not only angers me, it costs me more and will in the end cause more problems for me medically. The blame for it sits squarely at the feet of the insurance company, who of course could care less.
Not surprisingly I am having all sorts of other medical issues. Many of these are directly related to the stress my body and mind have been under while fighting to get my pain back in control. I am currently going for testing to see how my pancreas is doing, if there has been further damage and if there is anything else that can be done to help. My immune system is completely shot, so a host of other problems has cropped up as a result of that, continuing infections, malfunctioning parts of my endocrine system, mysterious weight gain and water retention. I have more problems than time in the day to address them.
I am seeing lots of doctors, including quite a few new specialists, who are trying to address the problems - many of them don't have answers. Fortunately, being a veteran of "invisible illness" I am all too familiar with this scenario, so I mostly take it in stride.
In the meantime I have been taking a long, hard look at the things that ARE in my control, and what I am doing to support myself. The first thing that seems to go is self care, which of course is most important. I listened to Jenni Prokopy's first podcast over at ChronicBabe, and although I knew most of the information, it was a nice reminder. Good advice handled with humor and compassion. I recommend checking it out, even if you have been ill for a long time. Sometimes we all need a kick in the pants, and the information she gives, while basic for those of us who have been dealing with chronic illness for a long time, is still helpful.
I am so grateful for the many wonderful e-mails and comments I have received from many of you while I have been struggling. I never cease to be amazed at the amount of love and concern that people have to share, and am humbled that they choose to share it with me. Even though my posts have been erratic and fairly maudlin lately, I have been lifted up by the care and support of each of you who took the time to say you where thinking of me, praying for me, understood what I was going through or just plain cared! Thank you from the bottom of my heart. It is support like this that keeps me going when I feel like I just don't have another fight left in me.
Hopefully my posting will start to be more regular again, and of course I hope to touch on something other than just my illness in each post. Thanks for hanging in there through the dark times and please keep coming back to share the lighter times as well.
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Photohunt Saturday - Thankful
These hands are those of the two most important people in my life; my Mother and my best friend. I am beyond thankful for them both. They love me and support me and care for me with their loving hands!
I don't mean to be flip, but I am a true chocoholic. I prefer dark chocolate, but I 'll take it anyway it comes. I am thankful that I am able to enjoy chocolate!
Sunday, February 1, 2009
My Sister-In-Law
This post came to my first thing this morning as I opened my eyes, but instead of writing right away, I waited, and I hope it won't suffer as a result of my laziness. Yesterday was my brother's 52nd birthday. Regular followers of my blog will know that we weren't sure he would live to see this day, so it was a joyous occasion. The short version is that last January (2008) my brother suffered a heart attack. He went straight to the hospital and was diagnosed immediately and had a stent put in. He was transferred to another facility where he developed A.R.D.S. (Acute Respiratory Distress Syndrome) and was in a coma and on full life support until the very end of April. After coming out of the coma he required intensive therapy at a rehab center. He was finally released for home just before Thanksgiving this past year. He still needs a walker, braces and has many challenges, but when we think of what could have happened, we realize how blessed we are just to have my brother still around.
This all got me to thinking about my sister in law. She is an intensely private person, preferring to keep it all to herself. She loves deeply and fully, but isn't the demonstrative type. My brother and she have two sons, the oldest of whom was in his senior year of high school when his dad fell ill, and is now in his first year of college. The youngest is in middle school. My sister in law is a teacher. She works as a substitute for teachers on leave, generally in the high school, although sometimes in the middle high level. During the entire 11 plus months this was all going on (not that it STILL isn't mind you!) she was working full time, taking care of the two boys, and driving over 2 hours each way in all kinds of weather to visit my brother every single day (even when he was comatose for 4months straight). Now we may disagree on somethings, but that takes an awful lot of sacrifice, drive, strength and love - I don't think anyone would disagree with that!
We have a weird relationship, she doesn't call often or even give us regular updates on my brother. But I have such respect for her despite that, because she loves my brother completely and she shows it with her actions towards him. I feel nothing short of awe towards her. I think I started thinking about her not only because of my brother's birthday, but because I was already seeing references to Valentines Day everywhere on TV and the web. I am an odd girl when it comes to Valentines Day, I really feel it is a greeting card holiday made up to make people spend money and feel badly about themselves. You want to see true love? Show me the spouse who gets up at 5am, gets the kids ready for school, herself ready for work (educating other people's kids for 8 hours!) and then drives two hours in the snow and ice on the Long Island Expressway to sit beside my brother's comatose body just so she can hold his hand and stroke his hair and whisper how much she loves and needs him. I'll take that any day over a box of chocolates or a dozen roses! And I know my brother, he'd have done the same thing for her. They don't have a dream marriage, in fact, they have had more than their share of problems, health, financial and otherwise - but they are still together and still in love. They embody what the vows mean.
So although we may not be as close as I'd like and we may not speak as often as I wish, this Valentine's Day I know who I will be thinking of. I want to dedicate this Valentine's Day to all the spouses everywhere (I'm talking about you - Annie, Terri, Brian and John!) who take care of their spouses each and every day, not because you HAVE to but because you want to, because you love them. YOU are the real valentine's, the romance stories and the white knights because you show that true love exists, not in the Hallmark way, but in the real world way. You slug it out in the trenches each day and come back for more. Thank you for loving my brother, my friends, your spouses and for showing me what is truly possible.
This all got me to thinking about my sister in law. She is an intensely private person, preferring to keep it all to herself. She loves deeply and fully, but isn't the demonstrative type. My brother and she have two sons, the oldest of whom was in his senior year of high school when his dad fell ill, and is now in his first year of college. The youngest is in middle school. My sister in law is a teacher. She works as a substitute for teachers on leave, generally in the high school, although sometimes in the middle high level. During the entire 11 plus months this was all going on (not that it STILL isn't mind you!) she was working full time, taking care of the two boys, and driving over 2 hours each way in all kinds of weather to visit my brother every single day (even when he was comatose for 4months straight). Now we may disagree on somethings, but that takes an awful lot of sacrifice, drive, strength and love - I don't think anyone would disagree with that!
We have a weird relationship, she doesn't call often or even give us regular updates on my brother. But I have such respect for her despite that, because she loves my brother completely and she shows it with her actions towards him. I feel nothing short of awe towards her. I think I started thinking about her not only because of my brother's birthday, but because I was already seeing references to Valentines Day everywhere on TV and the web. I am an odd girl when it comes to Valentines Day, I really feel it is a greeting card holiday made up to make people spend money and feel badly about themselves. You want to see true love? Show me the spouse who gets up at 5am, gets the kids ready for school, herself ready for work (educating other people's kids for 8 hours!) and then drives two hours in the snow and ice on the Long Island Expressway to sit beside my brother's comatose body just so she can hold his hand and stroke his hair and whisper how much she loves and needs him. I'll take that any day over a box of chocolates or a dozen roses! And I know my brother, he'd have done the same thing for her. They don't have a dream marriage, in fact, they have had more than their share of problems, health, financial and otherwise - but they are still together and still in love. They embody what the vows mean.
So although we may not be as close as I'd like and we may not speak as often as I wish, this Valentine's Day I know who I will be thinking of. I want to dedicate this Valentine's Day to all the spouses everywhere (I'm talking about you - Annie, Terri, Brian and John!) who take care of their spouses each and every day, not because you HAVE to but because you want to, because you love them. YOU are the real valentine's, the romance stories and the white knights because you show that true love exists, not in the Hallmark way, but in the real world way. You slug it out in the trenches each day and come back for more. Thank you for loving my brother, my friends, your spouses and for showing me what is truly possible.
Monday, January 26, 2009
Getting To Know You
Okay, so it hasn't been a good week. . . continuing pain from the tooth extraction, awful medical tests, so I was looking forward to sitting down and watching the season premiere of The Closer on TNT tonight. Well, my carbon monoxide detector had other ideas for this evening! The darn thing started going off like crazy. It is plugged into the wall, so I knew the battery wasn't dead. After a call to 911, a quick change into clothes and out of comfy pj's and a call upstairs to my neighbor, we were all standing outside in the freezing cold getting to know the local fire and police departments.
My upstairs neighbor has always been very secretive about her age. She simply refuses to tell how old she is. I laugh at her, because she looks to be about my age, and I just can't see guarding something like that as if it were a state secret. Well tonight we were all asked our names, birth dates and phone numbers and out came the information!! I laughed so hard because she is actually a year OLDER than me!
Thankfully it turned out to be a false alarm. Our carbon monoxide detector decided that even though it had power from being plugged into the wall, it would go off anyway since the backup battery in it was dead. Does anyone else out there remember the episode from Friends where Phoebe's smoke detector goes off in the middle of the night and she can't get it to stop? She removes the battery and it still goes off and finally she beats it with her shoe. It stops momentarily and then goes off again driving her crazy. She wraps it in a blanket and puts it down the garbage shoot. Well, no one could get this thing open to take the battery out and as soon as the police and fire departments had cleared out, the thing decided to go ballistic and not just beep occasionally but to wail, loudly and continuously! I tried putting it outside in the car, but even out there it was so loud it would have kept the neighbors up all night. I finally threw it down on the slate patio hoping to break it. All that did was open the back so I could get the battery out. For a moment I thought all was well. But don't you know the sucker had a charge from having been plugged into the wall and was still emitting a wail, albeit a lower and less piercing one. Finally I tossed the darn thing into the trash. God help us all! Oh well, we met some cute firemen and policemen and had a laugh so I guess it wasn't a total loss, plus I found out my neighbor's age!
My upstairs neighbor has always been very secretive about her age. She simply refuses to tell how old she is. I laugh at her, because she looks to be about my age, and I just can't see guarding something like that as if it were a state secret. Well tonight we were all asked our names, birth dates and phone numbers and out came the information!! I laughed so hard because she is actually a year OLDER than me!
Thankfully it turned out to be a false alarm. Our carbon monoxide detector decided that even though it had power from being plugged into the wall, it would go off anyway since the backup battery in it was dead. Does anyone else out there remember the episode from Friends where Phoebe's smoke detector goes off in the middle of the night and she can't get it to stop? She removes the battery and it still goes off and finally she beats it with her shoe. It stops momentarily and then goes off again driving her crazy. She wraps it in a blanket and puts it down the garbage shoot. Well, no one could get this thing open to take the battery out and as soon as the police and fire departments had cleared out, the thing decided to go ballistic and not just beep occasionally but to wail, loudly and continuously! I tried putting it outside in the car, but even out there it was so loud it would have kept the neighbors up all night. I finally threw it down on the slate patio hoping to break it. All that did was open the back so I could get the battery out. For a moment I thought all was well. But don't you know the sucker had a charge from having been plugged into the wall and was still emitting a wail, albeit a lower and less piercing one. Finally I tossed the darn thing into the trash. God help us all! Oh well, we met some cute firemen and policemen and had a laugh so I guess it wasn't a total loss, plus I found out my neighbor's age!
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Whew, Is It Really only Tuesday?
Hectic week (again) with doctors. Tomorrow I am having a renal scan with Lasix, aren't you all jealous?! LOL!! Hopefully this will provide some answers as to what may be causing the nephritis and whether it is anything to worry about. I have a friend who has had the test, so I have a pretty good idea of what I am in for and I am NOT looking forward to it.
On the brighter side, tomorrow evening I am going to my first book club meeting. My girlfriend has been a member of this book club for years and is bringing me. I even read the whole book, 'The Flamenco Academy' by Sarah Bird, so I should be able to discuss it. I am looking forward to meeting all the other women and having some discussion that doesn't deal with medical tests, doctors or prescriptions!
Tonight we finally got all the Christmas decorations and the tree down and away. The is the latest I have ever had things up. It couldn't be helped, but it was driving me crazy. I am still on antibiotic for the sinus and ear infection. If that clears up, I am due to finally get this tooth pulled next Tues. The pain is incredible and I hope it all happens. I am so sick of doctors, tests and the like. I cancelled an appointment on Monday morning because my vertigo made it impossible for me to drive. The doctor called because he was upset that I had cancelled on short notice. I have cancelled on him before and I guess he thought I just didn't want to see him. I wish these doctors could get a sense of what day to day life is really like for us. I have reached a point where I really try not to schedule more than one doctor a day. I just can't do it anymore, physically or emotionally. And of course, I have my mother living with me as well, so I attend her appointments as well as my own. That means that everyday we are at one doctor or another. All this and feeling poorly too.
I had wanted to participate in Wordless Wednesday this week, but alas, I don't think I will get a post up before the test tomorrow. If I feel well enough after I may try, otherwise, it will have to wait until next week. I miss all my Wordless Wednesday blogging buddies! It is fun to do something different and not focus on the health stuff.
On the brighter side, tomorrow evening I am going to my first book club meeting. My girlfriend has been a member of this book club for years and is bringing me. I even read the whole book, 'The Flamenco Academy' by Sarah Bird, so I should be able to discuss it. I am looking forward to meeting all the other women and having some discussion that doesn't deal with medical tests, doctors or prescriptions!
Tonight we finally got all the Christmas decorations and the tree down and away. The is the latest I have ever had things up. It couldn't be helped, but it was driving me crazy. I am still on antibiotic for the sinus and ear infection. If that clears up, I am due to finally get this tooth pulled next Tues. The pain is incredible and I hope it all happens. I am so sick of doctors, tests and the like. I cancelled an appointment on Monday morning because my vertigo made it impossible for me to drive. The doctor called because he was upset that I had cancelled on short notice. I have cancelled on him before and I guess he thought I just didn't want to see him. I wish these doctors could get a sense of what day to day life is really like for us. I have reached a point where I really try not to schedule more than one doctor a day. I just can't do it anymore, physically or emotionally. And of course, I have my mother living with me as well, so I attend her appointments as well as my own. That means that everyday we are at one doctor or another. All this and feeling poorly too.
I had wanted to participate in Wordless Wednesday this week, but alas, I don't think I will get a post up before the test tomorrow. If I feel well enough after I may try, otherwise, it will have to wait until next week. I miss all my Wordless Wednesday blogging buddies! It is fun to do something different and not focus on the health stuff.
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Back From Break
WOW, it has been awhile since I last posted. I wish I could say I was away for the holidays, but in truth things haven't been too well with me. I needed to take a break for health and personal reasons.
Those of you with chronic illness will understand. By it's very nature it flares up when it feels like it and there isn't always a lot that can be done other than wait it out. This time it really got to me emotionally. I was in a real blue funk for awhile and just didn't feel like posting when I felt like that. But, talking with a good friend made me realize that I needed to post, because that is the truth of being chronically ill. Not all times are good, we can't always think our way to happier times, and I would be being dishonest not to admit that I go to that place sometimes too. I write a lot about gratitude and self care, and I fully believe in both and practice them regularly, but I am not immune to bad times.
However, I am beginning to feel better, emotionally at least, and wanted to get back into the swing of things. I miss posting on Wordless Wednesday and Photo Hunt Saturdays and plan to get back to those this week or next.
I did have some fun over the holidays including:
I talked in my last post about needing to take a break from doctors appointments. Unfortunately my break is over and I have been going to doctor's each day. I have so many things going on, so many tests happening at once, plus my mother to tend to so the days are full once again with that. I have had two appointments (yesterday and today) with new specialists who listened and are taking seriously some of the things that have been wrong for awhile now. It gives me hope. I am changing from the internist I had been seeing, who I had written I was so unhappy with, back to one I had seen years ago whom I had liked. I am hopeful this will lead to a better handling of my overall health situation.
My girlfriend talked me into signing up for a yoga class at our local recreation center. I have to be very careful because I hyper extend easily and injure myself, but I am going to give it a try. I won't be able to do what everyone else can, but I will do what I can.
I don't believe in New Year's resolutions. I try my best throughout the year to take care of myself and improve in ways I can. Each time I fall down, I pick myself up and try again and that's good enough for me. I find the pressure of resolutions usually makes me fail, but just aiming to improve my health or outlook is more manageable, for me anyway.
I will post some photos of some of the fun stuff in the next day or so. I appreciate everyone who visits and reads my blog and the patience you show when I am away for an extended period of time. I hope that everyone had a good holiday season and that the New Year is starting off on a good note. I know the holidays are always a mixed bag for me. The religious part and the spirit of Christmas that brings out the best in others always makes me happy, but at the same time I also feel a sadness for those who aren't here. Let's just say I am happy to be in January and especially past my birthday.
Speaking of birthdays, I know I will get some heat for this, but I want your comments so I am bringing this on myself. . . when did we stop sending paper cards or calling someone for their birthday and begin thinking it is okay to e-mail or send just an e-card? I was offended at how many people took this way out. If it was a money issue, I would be understanding, but those that did it weren't the ones who are struggling financially. Am I the only one who thinks that a card or call is still in order?
Thanks again for allowing me to be real here, even when the reality isn't pretty. It helps to know that there are others who struggle and get through the bad times too. Blogging and meeting so many great people through it, has been a huge blessing. Well, I have rambled enough for one post - see ya again soon.
Those of you with chronic illness will understand. By it's very nature it flares up when it feels like it and there isn't always a lot that can be done other than wait it out. This time it really got to me emotionally. I was in a real blue funk for awhile and just didn't feel like posting when I felt like that. But, talking with a good friend made me realize that I needed to post, because that is the truth of being chronically ill. Not all times are good, we can't always think our way to happier times, and I would be being dishonest not to admit that I go to that place sometimes too. I write a lot about gratitude and self care, and I fully believe in both and practice them regularly, but I am not immune to bad times.
However, I am beginning to feel better, emotionally at least, and wanted to get back into the swing of things. I miss posting on Wordless Wednesday and Photo Hunt Saturdays and plan to get back to those this week or next.
I did have some fun over the holidays including:
- A day trip into NYC to look at the Rockefeller Center Christmas Tree and skating rink as well some of the store window displays. It was SO crowded the day we went in that it wasn't as much fun as I had hoped, but because I am a former city gal, I made a go of it anyway, taking my mother and friend on a tour of Grand Central Station, The Ford Foundation and Tutor City. Grand Central Station had a holiday laser light show on the ceiling in the main room that was a nice surprise treat.
- For my birthday a friend got us tickets to see "Oliver" at the John W. Engeman theater in Northport. The cast are all equity actors, so it really was Broadway caliber and we enjoyed it immensely. We went out to dinner after to celebrate my turning 42.
- I visited Old Bethpage Village Restoration for a "candle-light walk" with my upstairs neighbor and my mom. It is a village with original houses from the 1700 and 1800's and they had people in period costume at each location. They also had a huge outdoor bonfire, sing-a-longs, music on 18th century violins, as well as hot cider and cookies. It was a nice evening and luckily the weather cooperated.
- Local trips to see Christmas lights in the area. The neighborhood we live in really does it up right, and it was nice to walk (when weather and health permitted) or drive by, and see all the different displays.
- Midnight Mass on Christmas complete with the choir singing before for an hour - the highlight of my holiday for sure!
- Going to Hick's Nursery to see the Christmas displays and watching all the children ooh and aah over the animatronics display. They also had a brass quartet playing Christmas carols and gave bells to the little ones to play along. There is nothing as much fun as seeing Christmas through the eyes of a child.
- Going to see the tree and skating rink at Rexcorp in Uniondale at night.
- Spending time at my friends house after the holidays enjoying her family, good food and lots of laughs.
I talked in my last post about needing to take a break from doctors appointments. Unfortunately my break is over and I have been going to doctor's each day. I have so many things going on, so many tests happening at once, plus my mother to tend to so the days are full once again with that. I have had two appointments (yesterday and today) with new specialists who listened and are taking seriously some of the things that have been wrong for awhile now. It gives me hope. I am changing from the internist I had been seeing, who I had written I was so unhappy with, back to one I had seen years ago whom I had liked. I am hopeful this will lead to a better handling of my overall health situation.
My girlfriend talked me into signing up for a yoga class at our local recreation center. I have to be very careful because I hyper extend easily and injure myself, but I am going to give it a try. I won't be able to do what everyone else can, but I will do what I can.
I don't believe in New Year's resolutions. I try my best throughout the year to take care of myself and improve in ways I can. Each time I fall down, I pick myself up and try again and that's good enough for me. I find the pressure of resolutions usually makes me fail, but just aiming to improve my health or outlook is more manageable, for me anyway.
I will post some photos of some of the fun stuff in the next day or so. I appreciate everyone who visits and reads my blog and the patience you show when I am away for an extended period of time. I hope that everyone had a good holiday season and that the New Year is starting off on a good note. I know the holidays are always a mixed bag for me. The religious part and the spirit of Christmas that brings out the best in others always makes me happy, but at the same time I also feel a sadness for those who aren't here. Let's just say I am happy to be in January and especially past my birthday.
Speaking of birthdays, I know I will get some heat for this, but I want your comments so I am bringing this on myself. . . when did we stop sending paper cards or calling someone for their birthday and begin thinking it is okay to e-mail or send just an e-card? I was offended at how many people took this way out. If it was a money issue, I would be understanding, but those that did it weren't the ones who are struggling financially. Am I the only one who thinks that a card or call is still in order?
Thanks again for allowing me to be real here, even when the reality isn't pretty. It helps to know that there are others who struggle and get through the bad times too. Blogging and meeting so many great people through it, has been a huge blessing. Well, I have rambled enough for one post - see ya again soon.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
An Act of Kindness
I hadn't written about about this, because it is personal, but also because I know my friend will be embarrassed, not because of something bad, but something GOOD she did. I decided to change her name to protect her privacy. The story is real.
My mother and I moved into our house in the beginning of October this year. Before moving here we were living in an apartment building, where we were very unhappy, and had a lot of trouble with the lack of maintenance, brown water, and loud and mean neighbors. We found an ad for our current house and had come to look at it. The landlord had explained on the phone that the reason the house was available for rent was that the elderly couple who had been living here had been killed in an auto accident a few months prior. The night we came to see the house, one of the daughter's of the previous tenants was here cleaning up. I'll call her Nancy. Well, as you can imagine, Nancy was upset. She had lost both her parents suddenly only a short time ago. Her son was with her as well. He is a wonderful 8 year old boy I'll call John. Instead of looking at the house, I spent most of my time here that night talking to Nancy about her parents. She told me how happy they had been here, how good the landlord had been to them and how she and John lived nearby and used to ride their bikes over almost every day in the good weather to visit her parents. I hugged her as she cried and told her that she and John would always be welcome here. I think that made her feel a little better, she wouldn't have to give up the last touchstone to her parents she had. We exchanged phone numbers and promised to keep in touch.
My mother and I did take the house and just before we moved in, I got a call from Nancy. She wanted to know how we were doing. My mother had just been in the hospital, I was stressed from trying to pull together the move in less than 2 weeks and we were ready to be out of that awful apartment. Nancy promised to be in touch after we got settled in.
The day of our move, Nancy showed up at our door with a basket filled with goodies. There was a loaf of Irish Soda Bread (my favorite!), a box of chocolates, a map of the town, a local newspaper and several other helpful things. She and John delivered it to our door, along with a card welcoming us to our new home. What a change from where we had been living! I was so touched, not only at her thoughtfulness, but I knew all she was going through in her grieving and felt it was especially kind that she reached out to us in her own time of grief and pain. I was also grateful to have a new friend so soon after moving in.
We spoke on the phone several times, but it took us almost a month to get together. Both of us had busy schedules. We met one morning for tea and scones. We started chatting like old friends and found we had much in common. Unfortunately one of the things we share in common is endometriosis. While I was sad to know that Nancy had suffered and struggled to have John, I was glad to meet someone who "gets" what having a chronic illness is like. She is a nurse and works in a local hospital. What a blessing for the patients she deals with, she is kind and compassionate, having firsthand experience with pain, illness and loss.
During our talk I mentioned that mom and I didn't have a Christmas tree. We had an artificial one when we lived in North Carolina, but when we ended up in an apartment in New York, with nowhere to store it, we hadn't moved it up. Money was too tight this year to even think of buying a tree, real or artificial, so we had decided we would be without one this year. I knew it was the right choice, but it did make me a little sad, I mean I love having a tree. Immediately Nancy offered us a tree. They have a small artificial tree that they had used in the past down in their basement as an extra tree. Last year her parents had used it in this house. She wouldn't be having Christmas at her house this year (they are going to her sisters) so she wouldn't be putting the little tree up anyway. Would we like to borrow the tree? I was so touched. It was like an answer to a prayer. She brought the tree by just after Thanksgiving and it sits decorated and lit up in my living room as I type this. It is perfect for this house, only about 4 1/2 ft. high, we have it up on a box. Not only did it make us happy, but I know it made Nancy feel better about the holiday too. Just the week before we had gotten together she and her husband were going through things in their basement and had come across the tree. He had asked if they would be putting it up this year and she had said no, and had thought sadly about her parents. Now her tree stands once again in the same house as last year, albeit under very different circumstances, and blesses another family with the love and kindness that Nancy learned from her parents. I can tell her parents were happy here, you can feel it in the house. I know that may sound hokey to some, and I never thought I would say a thing like that, but this house has a happy vibe, something our apartment certainly didn't.
I feel blessed to have met Nancy, and although I wish the circumstances had been different, I know her parents are looking down from heaven and watching this friendship grow - helping both of us in different ways!
Again I am reminded how blessed I am. Blessed to have this friend, blessed to live in this house and still have my mother with me, blessed in the health I DO have. It's a small thing to have a tree, but it has big meaning to me, and Nancy could see that and she responded in love and generousity when she could have hid in grief. I hope I am as good a friend to her as she has been to me.
I've written a lot of posts lately on the little things we can each do to help someone else. This is another example of something that didn't cost any money, but couldn't have been more priceless. When we take the time to listen to people, we often find what they need most isn't even a "thing", usually it is someone to care about them. Maybe you have an elderly neighbor that would welcome a visit from time to time, or who needs a ride to church or the store once in a while. Maybe you have a working mom who could use a few hours of childcare to get some shopping or gift wrapping done.
In the past week I have done several small acts of kindness that didn't cost me anything. We had our first snowfall last weekend. When I went out to clear off my car, I cleared off the car of my upstairs neighbor as well. This way when she came down, she could just get in and go. It only took me about 5 extra minutes and it made her day easier. Yesterday my mother had a doctors appointment. When we arrived at the office, there were 2 ladies that my mother has met through the local senior center. They were finished with an appointment and were asking the receptionist to call them a cab. I offered to drive them home instead. My mother was going to be back in the doctors office for awhile, and instead of sitting in the waiting room, I took them home and came back for my mother. It took me about 15 minutes in total and saved them at least $10. Surely we can all do small things like this for others.
I want to close by saying that each night as I look at our tree, I say a little prayer for Nancy and her family, for their friendship and kindness to us. And I am trying to honor it by passing it on.
My mother and I moved into our house in the beginning of October this year. Before moving here we were living in an apartment building, where we were very unhappy, and had a lot of trouble with the lack of maintenance, brown water, and loud and mean neighbors. We found an ad for our current house and had come to look at it. The landlord had explained on the phone that the reason the house was available for rent was that the elderly couple who had been living here had been killed in an auto accident a few months prior. The night we came to see the house, one of the daughter's of the previous tenants was here cleaning up. I'll call her Nancy. Well, as you can imagine, Nancy was upset. She had lost both her parents suddenly only a short time ago. Her son was with her as well. He is a wonderful 8 year old boy I'll call John. Instead of looking at the house, I spent most of my time here that night talking to Nancy about her parents. She told me how happy they had been here, how good the landlord had been to them and how she and John lived nearby and used to ride their bikes over almost every day in the good weather to visit her parents. I hugged her as she cried and told her that she and John would always be welcome here. I think that made her feel a little better, she wouldn't have to give up the last touchstone to her parents she had. We exchanged phone numbers and promised to keep in touch.
My mother and I did take the house and just before we moved in, I got a call from Nancy. She wanted to know how we were doing. My mother had just been in the hospital, I was stressed from trying to pull together the move in less than 2 weeks and we were ready to be out of that awful apartment. Nancy promised to be in touch after we got settled in.
The day of our move, Nancy showed up at our door with a basket filled with goodies. There was a loaf of Irish Soda Bread (my favorite!), a box of chocolates, a map of the town, a local newspaper and several other helpful things. She and John delivered it to our door, along with a card welcoming us to our new home. What a change from where we had been living! I was so touched, not only at her thoughtfulness, but I knew all she was going through in her grieving and felt it was especially kind that she reached out to us in her own time of grief and pain. I was also grateful to have a new friend so soon after moving in.
We spoke on the phone several times, but it took us almost a month to get together. Both of us had busy schedules. We met one morning for tea and scones. We started chatting like old friends and found we had much in common. Unfortunately one of the things we share in common is endometriosis. While I was sad to know that Nancy had suffered and struggled to have John, I was glad to meet someone who "gets" what having a chronic illness is like. She is a nurse and works in a local hospital. What a blessing for the patients she deals with, she is kind and compassionate, having firsthand experience with pain, illness and loss.
During our talk I mentioned that mom and I didn't have a Christmas tree. We had an artificial one when we lived in North Carolina, but when we ended up in an apartment in New York, with nowhere to store it, we hadn't moved it up. Money was too tight this year to even think of buying a tree, real or artificial, so we had decided we would be without one this year. I knew it was the right choice, but it did make me a little sad, I mean I love having a tree. Immediately Nancy offered us a tree. They have a small artificial tree that they had used in the past down in their basement as an extra tree. Last year her parents had used it in this house. She wouldn't be having Christmas at her house this year (they are going to her sisters) so she wouldn't be putting the little tree up anyway. Would we like to borrow the tree? I was so touched. It was like an answer to a prayer. She brought the tree by just after Thanksgiving and it sits decorated and lit up in my living room as I type this. It is perfect for this house, only about 4 1/2 ft. high, we have it up on a box. Not only did it make us happy, but I know it made Nancy feel better about the holiday too. Just the week before we had gotten together she and her husband were going through things in their basement and had come across the tree. He had asked if they would be putting it up this year and she had said no, and had thought sadly about her parents. Now her tree stands once again in the same house as last year, albeit under very different circumstances, and blesses another family with the love and kindness that Nancy learned from her parents. I can tell her parents were happy here, you can feel it in the house. I know that may sound hokey to some, and I never thought I would say a thing like that, but this house has a happy vibe, something our apartment certainly didn't.
I feel blessed to have met Nancy, and although I wish the circumstances had been different, I know her parents are looking down from heaven and watching this friendship grow - helping both of us in different ways!
Again I am reminded how blessed I am. Blessed to have this friend, blessed to live in this house and still have my mother with me, blessed in the health I DO have. It's a small thing to have a tree, but it has big meaning to me, and Nancy could see that and she responded in love and generousity when she could have hid in grief. I hope I am as good a friend to her as she has been to me.
I've written a lot of posts lately on the little things we can each do to help someone else. This is another example of something that didn't cost any money, but couldn't have been more priceless. When we take the time to listen to people, we often find what they need most isn't even a "thing", usually it is someone to care about them. Maybe you have an elderly neighbor that would welcome a visit from time to time, or who needs a ride to church or the store once in a while. Maybe you have a working mom who could use a few hours of childcare to get some shopping or gift wrapping done.
In the past week I have done several small acts of kindness that didn't cost me anything. We had our first snowfall last weekend. When I went out to clear off my car, I cleared off the car of my upstairs neighbor as well. This way when she came down, she could just get in and go. It only took me about 5 extra minutes and it made her day easier. Yesterday my mother had a doctors appointment. When we arrived at the office, there were 2 ladies that my mother has met through the local senior center. They were finished with an appointment and were asking the receptionist to call them a cab. I offered to drive them home instead. My mother was going to be back in the doctors office for awhile, and instead of sitting in the waiting room, I took them home and came back for my mother. It took me about 15 minutes in total and saved them at least $10. Surely we can all do small things like this for others.
I want to close by saying that each night as I look at our tree, I say a little prayer for Nancy and her family, for their friendship and kindness to us. And I am trying to honor it by passing it on.
Bits and Pieces
Well, once again I've been a bad blogger - it's been almost a week since my last post and I haven't participated in my Wordless Wednesday or Photo Hunt games in several weeks. I've been dealing with my own health issues and those of my mom, but it is no excuse, I just need to be more disciplined.
I had a comment from a reader in response to a post from back in October about CVS drug stores carrying the magazine Fibromyalgia Aware - she hasn't been able to find it in her store and when she asked the staff they knew nothing about it. I directed her to the 800 number for CVS as well to FMAWARE.org (the publishers), but I am wondering if anyone else has had a problem getting a copy. I bought my Fall issue as soon as they went on the stands, but I am wondering since it is a quarterly publication if they only ordered a small batch to see how sales would be. If anyone else has any experience with this, good or bad, and could share it, I would appreciate feedback. Thanks!
My mom had her colonoscopy last Thursday. Other than enduring the night before with the prep, things went pretty well. At this moment the C-Diff appears to be gone (although we've been told that before only to have it reappear!). they took some biopsies to make sure they aren't missing anything important, and when she goes back in a few weeks we should have a more complete answer as to what has been going on with her. I want to thank everyone who has asked about her and also sent prayers and good wishes.
I have an appointment on Friday with the urologist to see if there is anything to this mild nephritis finding on my CAT scan. My GYN is concerned that with my history of endometriosis and adhesions, there is the possibility of an adhesion causing a kink or blockage, which could cause nephritis. Of course, never being able to be the simple patient, I am allergic to contrasts and dyes needed to do studies, so we will have to see what the urologist recommends as the next step and proceed from there.
I have been in a "if I have to see one more doctor I am going to scream" mood, so I have put off getting in touch with several other specialists I need to see. I know it isn't a long term solution, I just want to get through the holidays and my birthday without having 2 or more appointments each day! Between mom and I it feels like it is all we ever do anymore.
We did have a pleasant day on Sunday. After Mass we headed over to a nursery that does a lot of decorating and such for Christmas. It is called Hicks and I hadn't been there since I was a little girl. They have a small area with animatronics that you walk you through, different Christmas scenes. It was fun to watch the children as they looked and "oohed and aahed" at Santa or snowmen or penguins. Many parents had their kids dressed up because there are lots of good places to get those all important Christmas card photos. My mother and I both enjoyed watching the little ones enjoy themselves. There was a quartet set up in the middle of the greenhouse and they were playing Christmas songs. They had brought along all sorts of bells that the kids could pick up and play along with. What fun to watch a little toddler shaking the bells and singing "Frosty" or "Jingle Bells".
We came home and had a bite to eat before heading out to a local parish for "Lessons and Carols". The choir at St. Anne's in Garden City is amazing and it was so nice to hear the scripture readings and then the songs. We met up with some friends there and it was fun to be together and celebrate the real meaning of the holiday. After dinner we headed over to the Rexcorp tree and ice rink. For those of you not familiar with the area, it is Long Islands answer to Rockefeller Center. The tree is even bigger than the one in NYC and there is an ice skating rink as well. They decorate the inside of the office buildings, although this year that part was rather disappointing. It was a cold night, but we enjoyed watching the skaters and looking at the gorgeous tree. We came home in time to catch HGTV's special on Christmas windows 2008. I was walking to shut off the lights and caught my little toe on the coffee table and broke it! OUCH!! I am still hurting and limping. It was so stupid, but these things happen. Except for that, it was a nice day.
I am still having a lot of pain in what I originally thought was my tooth, but it turns out to be my ligament in my jaw. There is either an infection or perhaps a crack in a tooth. My dentist had me do a round of antibiotics, but I am still really hurting. It never ends when you have autoimmune problems, one thing just leads to another. I am also slowly decreasing my dose of hydrocortisone, so I have had some issues with that as well.
Overall it has been such a good holiday season compared to last year that I can't complain even with all that is going on. I encourage you all to find fun, free and meaningful things to do that will bring you into the true reason for the season. Today we went to the local elementary school for their holiday concert. Seeing those sweet little ones singing, playing instruments and enjoying themselves really gave my spirits a lift and brought me back to the wonder of being a kid again. Be grateful for all you do have in these tough economic times (my landlord finally got us a new stove - YEA!!!), and pray for those who aren't as fortunate. Right now there are so many good ways to help, even just offering to drop food off if you can't afford to donate a whole meal, sending a card to soldier in Iraq or Afghanistan or at Walter Reed as I had posted about earlier. You don't have to spend a lot to help. Heck, give someone a genuine compliment, we are all so harried and hurried this time of year it will make their day!
Thanks for reading my blog and for caring about me and my family. I will post some pictures of the tree so you can all see what that looked like. This weekend I am due to go into NYC to see the Rockefeller Center tree and the Christmas windows. If my toe allows it, I plan to get as many pictures as possible and share them here for those of you who don't live close enough to get to see them in person!
I had a comment from a reader in response to a post from back in October about CVS drug stores carrying the magazine Fibromyalgia Aware - she hasn't been able to find it in her store and when she asked the staff they knew nothing about it. I directed her to the 800 number for CVS as well to FMAWARE.org (the publishers), but I am wondering if anyone else has had a problem getting a copy. I bought my Fall issue as soon as they went on the stands, but I am wondering since it is a quarterly publication if they only ordered a small batch to see how sales would be. If anyone else has any experience with this, good or bad, and could share it, I would appreciate feedback. Thanks!
My mom had her colonoscopy last Thursday. Other than enduring the night before with the prep, things went pretty well. At this moment the C-Diff appears to be gone (although we've been told that before only to have it reappear!). they took some biopsies to make sure they aren't missing anything important, and when she goes back in a few weeks we should have a more complete answer as to what has been going on with her. I want to thank everyone who has asked about her and also sent prayers and good wishes.
I have an appointment on Friday with the urologist to see if there is anything to this mild nephritis finding on my CAT scan. My GYN is concerned that with my history of endometriosis and adhesions, there is the possibility of an adhesion causing a kink or blockage, which could cause nephritis. Of course, never being able to be the simple patient, I am allergic to contrasts and dyes needed to do studies, so we will have to see what the urologist recommends as the next step and proceed from there.
I have been in a "if I have to see one more doctor I am going to scream" mood, so I have put off getting in touch with several other specialists I need to see. I know it isn't a long term solution, I just want to get through the holidays and my birthday without having 2 or more appointments each day! Between mom and I it feels like it is all we ever do anymore.
We did have a pleasant day on Sunday. After Mass we headed over to a nursery that does a lot of decorating and such for Christmas. It is called Hicks and I hadn't been there since I was a little girl. They have a small area with animatronics that you walk you through, different Christmas scenes. It was fun to watch the children as they looked and "oohed and aahed" at Santa or snowmen or penguins. Many parents had their kids dressed up because there are lots of good places to get those all important Christmas card photos. My mother and I both enjoyed watching the little ones enjoy themselves. There was a quartet set up in the middle of the greenhouse and they were playing Christmas songs. They had brought along all sorts of bells that the kids could pick up and play along with. What fun to watch a little toddler shaking the bells and singing "Frosty" or "Jingle Bells".
We came home and had a bite to eat before heading out to a local parish for "Lessons and Carols". The choir at St. Anne's in Garden City is amazing and it was so nice to hear the scripture readings and then the songs. We met up with some friends there and it was fun to be together and celebrate the real meaning of the holiday. After dinner we headed over to the Rexcorp tree and ice rink. For those of you not familiar with the area, it is Long Islands answer to Rockefeller Center. The tree is even bigger than the one in NYC and there is an ice skating rink as well. They decorate the inside of the office buildings, although this year that part was rather disappointing. It was a cold night, but we enjoyed watching the skaters and looking at the gorgeous tree. We came home in time to catch HGTV's special on Christmas windows 2008. I was walking to shut off the lights and caught my little toe on the coffee table and broke it! OUCH!! I am still hurting and limping. It was so stupid, but these things happen. Except for that, it was a nice day.
I am still having a lot of pain in what I originally thought was my tooth, but it turns out to be my ligament in my jaw. There is either an infection or perhaps a crack in a tooth. My dentist had me do a round of antibiotics, but I am still really hurting. It never ends when you have autoimmune problems, one thing just leads to another. I am also slowly decreasing my dose of hydrocortisone, so I have had some issues with that as well.
Overall it has been such a good holiday season compared to last year that I can't complain even with all that is going on. I encourage you all to find fun, free and meaningful things to do that will bring you into the true reason for the season. Today we went to the local elementary school for their holiday concert. Seeing those sweet little ones singing, playing instruments and enjoying themselves really gave my spirits a lift and brought me back to the wonder of being a kid again. Be grateful for all you do have in these tough economic times (my landlord finally got us a new stove - YEA!!!), and pray for those who aren't as fortunate. Right now there are so many good ways to help, even just offering to drop food off if you can't afford to donate a whole meal, sending a card to soldier in Iraq or Afghanistan or at Walter Reed as I had posted about earlier. You don't have to spend a lot to help. Heck, give someone a genuine compliment, we are all so harried and hurried this time of year it will make their day!
Thanks for reading my blog and for caring about me and my family. I will post some pictures of the tree so you can all see what that looked like. This weekend I am due to go into NYC to see the Rockefeller Center tree and the Christmas windows. If my toe allows it, I plan to get as many pictures as possible and share them here for those of you who don't live close enough to get to see them in person!
Friday, December 12, 2008
Pictures Of The Seasons Fun
I recently wrote about attending our local tree lighting, complete with horse drawn carriage rides and a visit from Santa, as well as a trip to Westbury House for a tour and concert. The above picture shows one of the beautiful trees at Westbury House, with the mantel decorated for the season.
This is a photo of santa, my mom and I at Westbury house. I have to tell you, I think this is the real Santa, he takes you on a tour of each room and has stories about his elves and which room they sleep in, where they make the toys, etc. . . He is as entertaining for the adults as he is good with the kids.
This is an "after" shot of the tree with Santa and all the local dignitaries. They really did a nice job of putting this event together. After you finished the carriage ride you got a goodie bag filled with stuff from all the local merchants. There was also hot cocoa and cookies to warm you up, and the local tv station had us all taping holiday greetings to air the week of Christmas!
This was a "before" shot of the tree. It was pretty even before it was lit. Not a huge tree, and not overly decorated, it makes a nice statement.
Last but certainly not least, the horse drawn carriage that took us through the neighborhood to look at the lights. The carriage was pretty comfortable and we had enough people on each trip to snuggle up and keep warm. The horses were so beautiful. We donated a toy for a tot to take the carriage ride, which made us feel good and hopefully helped some local kids have a better holiday! Only a few hours after this it snowed for the first time this year. The only thing that could have made it better was if it had snowed during our ride!
Saturday, December 6, 2008
Holiday Fun!
This evening we went to a local tree lighting ceremony. Since this is our first holiday season living in this town, we hadn't been to this event here before. It was really nicely done. The local shops got together with town hall and put the event on. There were Christmas carols playing, a horse drawn carriage ride through one of the upscale neighborhoods to see the decorated houses, Santa came on the fire engine and then got on the carriage ride with the kids. After you finished the horse drawn carriage, you were given a gift bag from the local merchants, which actually contained some nice things, not just junk and coupons. Then there was hot cocoa and cookies while you waited for the tree to be lit. We took our neighbor and met up with some friends. One of the girls had her son, who is 8 years old with us, and it was so much fun to watch it all through his eyes! The local cable station was there and had us all tape holiday greetings that will air the week of Christmas. They collected a toy or canned food as your "fee" to ride the carriage, so all those go to benefit the poor and needy in the area. We brought board games (Chutes and Ladders and Candyland) for the kiddies!
This is another reason I really enjoy living here, they have fun events like this all the time, they are free, and everyone in the area participates, so you get to meet new people while doing something different. The only thing that could have made it more perfect was if it had snowed a little, but it still had a nice postcard quality to it. I will post some pictures from it tomorrow.
This is another reason I really enjoy living here, they have fun events like this all the time, they are free, and everyone in the area participates, so you get to meet new people while doing something different. The only thing that could have made it more perfect was if it had snowed a little, but it still had a nice postcard quality to it. I will post some pictures from it tomorrow.
Monday, November 24, 2008
The Good, the Bad and the Ugly
Wow, I have been one neglectful blogger!! I apologize to all of you who regularly check for new content, it really has been too long since I last posted something new. It's been a combination of factors from health to personal, and I have several rants started that at some point I might just post. . .
Anyway, I am still awaiting an answer on my thyroid biopsy (taken last Wed.) and have a few other critical health issues going on. Despite those things, I had a nice weekend. I met a funny, smart, kind woman who has become a new friend since moving to our diggs in October, and we got together on Saturday for tea and scones. She then took me around town and showed me where there are some great shops I didn't know about. It is so wonderful to live in an area where the people are friendly and kind, especially after where we've been living for the past year.
Saturday evening mom and I had a friend over for pizza and a movie (hey in these economic times a movie from the library and a pizza is a big night!). We watched one of my all time favorite film noir classics "Double Indemnity"! I never tire of a great film with snappy dialog and witty banter.
Sunday we tried a new parish close to home for Mass, which was very good. They just refurbished the church and it looked beautiful. After Mass, despite the freezing temperatures, we took a nice walk. I had promised my mom that I would bring her over to the area my friend had shown me on Saturday and let her see some of the shops for herself. We both love 5 & 10 cent stores (variety stores, whatever you call them where you live!). They have become a lost breed and I was so excited to discover one right here in town. We spent a good amount of time just browsing in there and discovering all the neat stuff they carry that you can't find anywhere anymore.
I've been a bit frustrated lately, between doctor's appointments and dealing with pharmacy and cable issues and the frustrations of living life with so many chronic illnesses, it's had me down. It was nice to have a weekend away from all that, with friends and family. Of course now I am paying (physically) for the activity, but once in awhile you've got to push yourself and pay for it later. I am suffering from vertigo, so I can't read or write a long post. Hopefully it will be a short bout this time.
So that's what new in my neck of the woods, what's up with YOU? I really want to know. . .
Anyway, I am still awaiting an answer on my thyroid biopsy (taken last Wed.) and have a few other critical health issues going on. Despite those things, I had a nice weekend. I met a funny, smart, kind woman who has become a new friend since moving to our diggs in October, and we got together on Saturday for tea and scones. She then took me around town and showed me where there are some great shops I didn't know about. It is so wonderful to live in an area where the people are friendly and kind, especially after where we've been living for the past year.
Saturday evening mom and I had a friend over for pizza and a movie (hey in these economic times a movie from the library and a pizza is a big night!). We watched one of my all time favorite film noir classics "Double Indemnity"! I never tire of a great film with snappy dialog and witty banter.
Sunday we tried a new parish close to home for Mass, which was very good. They just refurbished the church and it looked beautiful. After Mass, despite the freezing temperatures, we took a nice walk. I had promised my mom that I would bring her over to the area my friend had shown me on Saturday and let her see some of the shops for herself. We both love 5 & 10 cent stores (variety stores, whatever you call them where you live!). They have become a lost breed and I was so excited to discover one right here in town. We spent a good amount of time just browsing in there and discovering all the neat stuff they carry that you can't find anywhere anymore.
I've been a bit frustrated lately, between doctor's appointments and dealing with pharmacy and cable issues and the frustrations of living life with so many chronic illnesses, it's had me down. It was nice to have a weekend away from all that, with friends and family. Of course now I am paying (physically) for the activity, but once in awhile you've got to push yourself and pay for it later. I am suffering from vertigo, so I can't read or write a long post. Hopefully it will be a short bout this time.
So that's what new in my neck of the woods, what's up with YOU? I really want to know. . .
Thursday, November 13, 2008
True Gratitude!
One of my favorite things about blogging are the other incredible bloggers you meet. I participate in Wordless Wednesday and Photo Hunt Saturdays, and through these forums have met bloggers from every country and walk of life. One of my favorites is Terry, from the blog Notes From One Mom. We "met" through our comments on each others photos. Terry, having read my profile, shared with me that she is the caregiver to her husband, who has had a stroke, as well as a patient with a chronic illness herself. I love her writing and her upbeat, positive outlook on life. She had a post on her site about her husband that she had written that touched me so deeply, I asked her permission to share it on my blog. I think it is such a powerful expression of love and understanding, and it certainly made me realize that despite our illness, the ones who really know and love us, see the whole person--not the illness or disability. I hope you will find it as beautiful as I did, and perhaps you will be inspired to write to someone in your life who you are thankful for.
Without further ado, here is the entire post:
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Thursday Thirteen: My Husband, My Hero
This is the month when giving thanks is on our minds. Having almost lost my husband more than once in the past thirteen years, I am grateful for every single day that he is still with us. He is my hero and here are my top thirteen reasons why.
1. He is a survivor. He survived rheumatic fever as an infant, polio as a child, 3 heart attacks before he was 50 and a stroke before he was 60.
2. He doesn't know the meaning of "can't." In between his childhood ailments and his adult illnesses, he played baseball, hockey, college and professional football. He even ran the Marine Corp Marathon when he was 40.
3. He never, never gives up. No matter what life throws at him, he is always positive. His first words after his stroke were, "I love you." His next sentence, although it took 3 days to compose and several minutes and some coaching to voice, was, "It's going to be alright."
4. He is a funny man. He loves to make people laugh. Nowadays he doesn't tell the jokes but he will still appreciate and laugh at yours.
5. I came into his life as a package deal, complete with three sons. He has loved them, helped to raise them, disciplined them, guided them, supported them in the good times and not so good times, and has always, always been there for them.
6. He is driven. Probably a little too driven at times, but that determination is now what enables him to deal with his disabilities on a daily basis. It's what got him walking after his stroke. It's what got him out on the golf course again with a one-arm golf swing. It's what gets him going every single day.
7. He is a supporter to those around him, whether it be me, our children, friends or neighbors, he always encourages those around him to succeed.
8. Not a day goes by, probably not more than a couple of hours, that he doesn't tell me how much he loves me and appreciates me.
9. He is the designated dishwasher loader/unloader in the family. And if I ask him, he will also do floors :)
10. Since his stroke in 2004, he had tried unsuccessfully to read a book - until this summer when he read the New Testament. He worked at it every single day and was as excited as a child who had mastered riding his first bicycle when he finished.
11. He loves life. Although much different than it was or than he expected it would ever be, he is content.
12. He notices and appreciates the details. Coffee and freshly baked muffins, a drive around the island, a walk on the beach, he takes pleasure in the small things that others often take for granted.
13. Last, but not in any way the least, he loves the Lord. And he knows the Lord loves him.
Posted by One Mom at 1:02 AM 6 comments Links to this post
Labels: giving thanks, husband, stroke survivor, Thursday Thirteen
Without further ado, here is the entire post:
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Thursday Thirteen: My Husband, My Hero
This is the month when giving thanks is on our minds. Having almost lost my husband more than once in the past thirteen years, I am grateful for every single day that he is still with us. He is my hero and here are my top thirteen reasons why.
1. He is a survivor. He survived rheumatic fever as an infant, polio as a child, 3 heart attacks before he was 50 and a stroke before he was 60.
2. He doesn't know the meaning of "can't." In between his childhood ailments and his adult illnesses, he played baseball, hockey, college and professional football. He even ran the Marine Corp Marathon when he was 40.
3. He never, never gives up. No matter what life throws at him, he is always positive. His first words after his stroke were, "I love you." His next sentence, although it took 3 days to compose and several minutes and some coaching to voice, was, "It's going to be alright."
4. He is a funny man. He loves to make people laugh. Nowadays he doesn't tell the jokes but he will still appreciate and laugh at yours.
5. I came into his life as a package deal, complete with three sons. He has loved them, helped to raise them, disciplined them, guided them, supported them in the good times and not so good times, and has always, always been there for them.
6. He is driven. Probably a little too driven at times, but that determination is now what enables him to deal with his disabilities on a daily basis. It's what got him walking after his stroke. It's what got him out on the golf course again with a one-arm golf swing. It's what gets him going every single day.
7. He is a supporter to those around him, whether it be me, our children, friends or neighbors, he always encourages those around him to succeed.
8. Not a day goes by, probably not more than a couple of hours, that he doesn't tell me how much he loves me and appreciates me.
9. He is the designated dishwasher loader/unloader in the family. And if I ask him, he will also do floors :)
10. Since his stroke in 2004, he had tried unsuccessfully to read a book - until this summer when he read the New Testament. He worked at it every single day and was as excited as a child who had mastered riding his first bicycle when he finished.
11. He loves life. Although much different than it was or than he expected it would ever be, he is content.
12. He notices and appreciates the details. Coffee and freshly baked muffins, a drive around the island, a walk on the beach, he takes pleasure in the small things that others often take for granted.
13. Last, but not in any way the least, he loves the Lord. And he knows the Lord loves him.
Posted by One Mom at 1:02 AM 6 comments Links to this post
Labels: giving thanks, husband, stroke survivor, Thursday Thirteen
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Remembering Our Veterans
Today is Veterans Day here in the United States, and I can think of no better way to honor the men and women who have served our country throughout the years than to share with you a wonderful poem. This poem was written by my very dear friend, Msgr. Charles R. Fink, who is now a catholic priest and in charge of the spiritual formation of the young men entering the priesthood in our diocese. Back in his early twenties, Msgr. Fink served our country as an infantry soldier during the Vietnam War. He was injured during an ambush, but continued to serve after recovering. He is a hero to me, as are all the men and women who have served our country and put themselves in harm's way to keep us safe. This poem is a beautiful expression of the bond and commitment these soldiers have for one another. I hope you will share it with those you love today as you remember our service men and women. Please be sure if you do copy the poem, that you credit the author, Msgr. Charles R. Fink, this is not my own writing, but his, and I have received his permission to use his work here.
Bury Me with Soldiers
I’ve played a lot of roles in life;
I’ve met a lot of men;
I’ve done some things I’d like to think
I wouldn’t do again.
And though I’m young, I’m old enough
To know someday I’ll die,
And think about what lies beyond,
Beside whom I would lie.
Perhaps it doesn’t matter much;
Still, if I had my choice,
I’d want a grave ‘mongst soldiers when
At last death quells my voice.
I’m sick of the hypocrisy
Of lectures by the wise.
I’ll take the man, with all his flaws,
Who goes, though scared, and dies.
The troops I knew were commonplace:
They didn’t want the war;
They fought because their fathers and
Their fathers had before.
They cursed and killed and wept—God knows
They’re easy to deride—
But bury me with men like these;
They faced the guns and died.
It’s funny, when you think of it,
The way we got along.
We’d come from different worlds
To live in one no one belongs.
I didn’t even like them all;
I’m sure they’d all agree.
Yet I would give my life for them,
I hope; some did for me.
So bury me with soldiers, please,
Though much maligned they be.
Yes, bury me with soldiers, for
I miss their company.
We’ll not soon see their like again;
We’ve had our fill of war.
But bury me with men like them
Till someone else does more.
--Charles R. Fink (Vietnam 3/69-3/70, 199th LIB)
I’ve played a lot of roles in life;
I’ve met a lot of men;
I’ve done some things I’d like to think
I wouldn’t do again.
And though I’m young, I’m old enough
To know someday I’ll die,
And think about what lies beyond,
Beside whom I would lie.
Perhaps it doesn’t matter much;
Still, if I had my choice,
I’d want a grave ‘mongst soldiers when
At last death quells my voice.
I’m sick of the hypocrisy
Of lectures by the wise.
I’ll take the man, with all his flaws,
Who goes, though scared, and dies.
The troops I knew were commonplace:
They didn’t want the war;
They fought because their fathers and
Their fathers had before.
They cursed and killed and wept—God knows
They’re easy to deride—
But bury me with men like these;
They faced the guns and died.
It’s funny, when you think of it,
The way we got along.
We’d come from different worlds
To live in one no one belongs.
I didn’t even like them all;
I’m sure they’d all agree.
Yet I would give my life for them,
I hope; some did for me.
So bury me with soldiers, please,
Though much maligned they be.
Yes, bury me with soldiers, for
I miss their company.
We’ll not soon see their like again;
We’ve had our fill of war.
But bury me with men like them
Till someone else does more.
--Charles R. Fink (Vietnam 3/69-3/70, 199th LIB)
Monday, November 10, 2008
Lemonade Award
I am thankful to Jeanne, of Jeanne's Endo Blog for awarding this blog the Lemonade Award!
This award is given to blogs demonstrating a attitude of gratitude.
Jeanne's Endo Blog is full is full of practical, helpful information-not just on endometriosis, but on a variety of chronic illnesses and other topics. Jeanne is a dedicated, thorough and tireless advocate, whose passion is an inspiration. She consistently writes thought provoking articles that touch many and I am very honored that she has chosen this blog to receive this award!
In keeping with the awards tradition, I will now honor 10 other blogs with the lemonade award, as follows:
1. Getting Closer To Myself
2. My Chronic Life
3. Renee's Reflections
4. Harvesting Hope From Heartache
5. My Life Works Today
6. Notes from One Mom
7. Life in the Autoimmune Lane
8. Rhymes With Migraine
9. Daisy The Curly Cat
10. Rambling & Writings
Monday, November 3, 2008
Is It Just ME?
Something that has come up over and over again during all my time with chronic illness is how to handle scheduling when your life isn't always predictable. I am finding it an issue once again, in the personal realm of things this time.
I try to be upfront with people about my illness. I find it makes it easier to find out right away if they can handle it or not, because frankly I have reached a point in life where I just don't have the time or energy to waste on those who can't understand. I recently moved (as I blogged about earlier this month) and so have come to meet some new people. I am still going through a lot of sickness at the moment, stuff in addition to my regular chronic illnesses. I am seeing an infectious disease doctor, I have CT scan scheduled for Wednesday and a procedure at the GYN this afternoon. On top of all of this, my mother has developed a re-occurrence of C. Diff, which she contracted in the hospital in late Aug./early Sept. We have a lot going on.
I met someone who had asked me to get together and I explained that the day in question was free at the moment, but that between not feeling well, and waiting to hear when tests (like todays GYN visit or the CAT scan) would happen, that might change. I felt I was being clear and honest. Last Thursday when I spoke to the GYN and found out I had to schedule this procedure today, I let my friend know that today wouldn't be a good time for getting together. This person went ahead and got tickets to a hockey game for tonight. I got a phone message yesterday to the effect that he hoped I would be able to make it since my doctor was at 4pm (which isn't the right time, but still. . .) and the game would start around 7pm and we could "catch some dinner before". Now I don't know about you, but I am not particularly fond of having a GYN procedure, hopping off the table and into rush hour traffic to go meet someone whom I don't know well, and then sitting through a hockey game. Another night I would love to do this. Had I not been clear when I told him that I had a doctor appointment scheduled for today I would feel guilty. Instead I feel angry and a bit manipulated.
It's a circumstance I've become too familiar with over the years. People hear what they want to hear, and then make you out to be the bad guy when things don't go as planned. It is disappointing enough to have to bow out of plans you would really like to keep, without the added guilt that goes along with this sort of behavior. I know the tickets weren't cheap. They also probably weren't easy to get on short notice. I just wish that instead of getting them and telling me about it after the fact, I had been consulted.
Do others find that even when they try to be open and honest about their health and the limits it puts on them, others seem to expect more than you can deliver? How do you handle this? I want to make new friends and keep myself open to new experiences, but I don't want to feel like a bad person when my body simply isn't cooperating. Any thoughts?
I try to be upfront with people about my illness. I find it makes it easier to find out right away if they can handle it or not, because frankly I have reached a point in life where I just don't have the time or energy to waste on those who can't understand. I recently moved (as I blogged about earlier this month) and so have come to meet some new people. I am still going through a lot of sickness at the moment, stuff in addition to my regular chronic illnesses. I am seeing an infectious disease doctor, I have CT scan scheduled for Wednesday and a procedure at the GYN this afternoon. On top of all of this, my mother has developed a re-occurrence of C. Diff, which she contracted in the hospital in late Aug./early Sept. We have a lot going on.
I met someone who had asked me to get together and I explained that the day in question was free at the moment, but that between not feeling well, and waiting to hear when tests (like todays GYN visit or the CAT scan) would happen, that might change. I felt I was being clear and honest. Last Thursday when I spoke to the GYN and found out I had to schedule this procedure today, I let my friend know that today wouldn't be a good time for getting together. This person went ahead and got tickets to a hockey game for tonight. I got a phone message yesterday to the effect that he hoped I would be able to make it since my doctor was at 4pm (which isn't the right time, but still. . .) and the game would start around 7pm and we could "catch some dinner before". Now I don't know about you, but I am not particularly fond of having a GYN procedure, hopping off the table and into rush hour traffic to go meet someone whom I don't know well, and then sitting through a hockey game. Another night I would love to do this. Had I not been clear when I told him that I had a doctor appointment scheduled for today I would feel guilty. Instead I feel angry and a bit manipulated.
It's a circumstance I've become too familiar with over the years. People hear what they want to hear, and then make you out to be the bad guy when things don't go as planned. It is disappointing enough to have to bow out of plans you would really like to keep, without the added guilt that goes along with this sort of behavior. I know the tickets weren't cheap. They also probably weren't easy to get on short notice. I just wish that instead of getting them and telling me about it after the fact, I had been consulted.
Do others find that even when they try to be open and honest about their health and the limits it puts on them, others seem to expect more than you can deliver? How do you handle this? I want to make new friends and keep myself open to new experiences, but I don't want to feel like a bad person when my body simply isn't cooperating. Any thoughts?
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
I received The Kreativ Blogger Award Today!!
WOW, imagine my surprise this morning when I opened my e-mail and saw that Connie, from Brainfoggles had made me one of her choices for the Kreativ Blogger Award!! I was so thrilled, touched, happy and surprised. Connie has been such an awesome support to me as I go through learning about blogging. She has freely given to me of her time, talent and knowledge and I wouldn't be able to have done most of things I have on my blog without her. In addition, she has been warm, compassionate and supportive of me as a person as well as a fellow blogger. I am so thankful that she nominated me for this award.
My instructions are to tell 6 things that make me happy and then pass it on to 6 people to make them happy. Isn't that a wonderful idea? So here goes. . .
1. Chocolate - ok, I know it isn't world peace or anything, but it truly makes me happy!!
2. My friends and family, who support and love me for who I am, what a blessing!
3. The ocean - the sight, sound and smell of it instantly relax and renew me. If I can't get there
physically, I will go there in my mind to take a mini-vacation anytime. There is something
so soothing about it to me. I can even look at a photo of waves on the sand and feel myself
relax and unwind.
4. All of the pets I have ever had. I don't currently have any, but each and every one has
enriched my life with their unconditional love and friendship. Animals take you exactly
as you are and love you no matter what.
5. Writing and blogging - I love being able to express myself through the written word. I enjoy
sharing both the real and the fictional and I hope someday to write at least one book.
6. Laughter - my own or anyone else's. Laughter truly is healing. I love the way I feel when I
laugh and I love to see others laugh too. To see that pure joy bubbling forth from someone
is a treasure. When illness or life get me down, laughter is one of the best tools I know for
recovering from any bad situation. To be able to laugh AT myself has been a huge blessing
in my life.
Now here are the 6 people I would like to award:
Kerry, from Lemon-Aide
Kitrona, from Warning: Schematic Inaccurate
Renee, from Renee's Reflections
Jenni, from Harvesting Hope from Heartache
Leslie, from Getting Closer to Myself
Jeanne, from Jeanne's Endo Blog
Sunday, October 5, 2008
Back Into The Routine
Well, we survived the move. Notice I used the word "survive", because that's what it feels like--something akin to getting through a tough bout of illness or a car accident! The movers were awful and caused a lot of stress and a fair amount of damage. Trying to get back on-line with cable, internet and phone was another hassle. Thankfully, things are starting to get settled and we are unpacking and beginning to feel more at home.
The upside to all the turmoil is that the new place and neighborhood are totally worth what we went through to get here. The new house is wonderful, and once everything is unpacked and we are comfortable, we are going to be very happy here. We did take the time to walk around the neighborhood yesterday morning and were pleasantly surprised at how friendly and nice everyone is. Hey, I even had a positive experience with the local CVS! In fact, the day we moved in we got a visit from a neighbor with a "welcome basket" full of goodies (Irish Soda Bread and candy) as well as some really useful information like a local map, the local newspaper and a pamphlet about the town and all the activities and organizations it offers. It was so sweet and thoughtful, and believe me we have used each item in it already. It was ironic, because for the 2 years we lived in our house in North Carolina we made a welcome basket for each new neighbor, and not only did we not receive one when we moved there, we were never even thanked for doing it. Now if you are from North Carolina, please don't be offended, I am not picking on you. I think that is more the norm now in most parts of the country than what we experienced here. I didn't take it as a reflection on North Carolinian's, more on the state of affairs in our country as a whole. We have lost a sense of community and neighborliness.
All of this rambling leads me back to thinking about how difficult it can be to find help when we need it due to illness. Everyone is so busy these days with their own lives, that a lot of the time they don't think about the fact that people are in need of help, or they feel so overwhelmed by their own circumstances they don't offer to do for others for fear they will get locked into something they can't keep up with. During Invisible Illness Awareness Week, I found out about and was able to download the first 40 pages of Lisa Copen's book, "Beyond Casseroles: 505 Ways to Encourage a Chronically Ill Friend". What a treasure this book is, both for us who are chronically ill, and for those who care about us! It has really concrete ideas of things people can do to help friends who suffer from chronic illness, and she addresses the time concern factor with terrific ideas that take as little as 5 minutes to bigger time commitments should one be able to make them. I am ordering multiple copies to give to friends, family and church members. Maybe I am a Pollyanna, but I truly believe most people WANT to help, they just don't have any idea WHAT to do so they end up doing nothing, or doing something - while nice, which might not be the thing we really need.
I feel encouraged that with this move we are going to be able to start to build a better support system for ourselves, and to be a support to those we meet as well. As I mentioned in my post about being a friend, we have to model the behavior we want to receive. Sometimes when we are in pain or very fatigued, we have a tendency to think that people should just know what we want or need. Not only isn't that fair to others, it is self defeating as well. How can someone meet your expectation if you never state it clearly?
The upside to all the turmoil is that the new place and neighborhood are totally worth what we went through to get here. The new house is wonderful, and once everything is unpacked and we are comfortable, we are going to be very happy here. We did take the time to walk around the neighborhood yesterday morning and were pleasantly surprised at how friendly and nice everyone is. Hey, I even had a positive experience with the local CVS! In fact, the day we moved in we got a visit from a neighbor with a "welcome basket" full of goodies (Irish Soda Bread and candy) as well as some really useful information like a local map, the local newspaper and a pamphlet about the town and all the activities and organizations it offers. It was so sweet and thoughtful, and believe me we have used each item in it already. It was ironic, because for the 2 years we lived in our house in North Carolina we made a welcome basket for each new neighbor, and not only did we not receive one when we moved there, we were never even thanked for doing it. Now if you are from North Carolina, please don't be offended, I am not picking on you. I think that is more the norm now in most parts of the country than what we experienced here. I didn't take it as a reflection on North Carolinian's, more on the state of affairs in our country as a whole. We have lost a sense of community and neighborliness.
All of this rambling leads me back to thinking about how difficult it can be to find help when we need it due to illness. Everyone is so busy these days with their own lives, that a lot of the time they don't think about the fact that people are in need of help, or they feel so overwhelmed by their own circumstances they don't offer to do for others for fear they will get locked into something they can't keep up with. During Invisible Illness Awareness Week, I found out about and was able to download the first 40 pages of Lisa Copen's book, "Beyond Casseroles: 505 Ways to Encourage a Chronically Ill Friend". What a treasure this book is, both for us who are chronically ill, and for those who care about us! It has really concrete ideas of things people can do to help friends who suffer from chronic illness, and she addresses the time concern factor with terrific ideas that take as little as 5 minutes to bigger time commitments should one be able to make them. I am ordering multiple copies to give to friends, family and church members. Maybe I am a Pollyanna, but I truly believe most people WANT to help, they just don't have any idea WHAT to do so they end up doing nothing, or doing something - while nice, which might not be the thing we really need.
I feel encouraged that with this move we are going to be able to start to build a better support system for ourselves, and to be a support to those we meet as well. As I mentioned in my post about being a friend, we have to model the behavior we want to receive. Sometimes when we are in pain or very fatigued, we have a tendency to think that people should just know what we want or need. Not only isn't that fair to others, it is self defeating as well. How can someone meet your expectation if you never state it clearly?
Before I end this post, I am excited to announce that Rosalind Joffe, author of "Women, Work and Autoimmune Disease: Keep Working, Girlfriend!" and career coach and founder of CiCoach.com, will be doing a guest post on this blog in November! I am so honored to have her writing here and look forward to sharing more details with all of you soon!
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