Virtual Book Tour: "Women Work and Autoimmune Disease: Keep Working Girlfriend"

It is my pleasure today to present a guest post written by Rosalind Joffe, co-author of "Women Work and Autoimmune Disease: Keep Working Girlfriend!". Rosalind, president of cicoach.com, a resource for professionals with chronic illness, is a chronic illness career coach. In addition, she is also a chronic illness patient herself, so she has a unique understanding and perspective on the subject of working and chronic illness.

This guest post is part of Ms. Joffe's virtual book tour, which started on Nov. 3, 2008 at Rhymes With Migraine and has included guest posts, interviews and book reviews related to her new book. For more information on all the stops of the tour, or to purchase a copy of Rosalind's book, please visit her website at cicoach.com.

Chronic illness makes it impossible to keep working. You've hit the wall. Clearly you've got to do something different, but what?

Maybe you stopped working to get your mental, physical and psychic energy back. But when (and if) you're ready to return to work, are you asking yourself: if I couldn't do that job before, what makes me think I can do it now? What if nothing has really changed? The same symptoms that get worse and better over time are still there. Add the repetitive stressors you had at work and you know you'll be out of work again.

This is a pretty typical scenario for people with debilitating chronic illness symptoms. It's tough to give up a career track, especially when you've put time, energy and money into training and developing skills.

When you can't use your skills (e.g., a plastic surgeon, has multiple sclerosis and has numb fingers) or you can't do the jobs that are available for people with your skills (e.g., a day care center manager with severe chronic asthma and can't be around young children), you might feel hopeless about ever working again.

I describe the value of work in my book, Women, Work and Autoimmune Disease: Keep Working Girlfriend! I've learned that although I live with with multiple sclerosis, I need to work. Yes, for financial reasons, but primarily, for the mental stimulation and emotional reward. I worked even when it meant recasting my skills in a different arena and drastic pay cut.

For some, working may be an impossible task. For many, however, working is an option if only we think about it differently. Think differently about the salary you need, the amount and degree of responsibilities you accept, and your life goals, you're more likely to develop a new career that allows you to be more than just your illness.

This isn't a simple thing to do. It requires you take a strategic, long view. It's also helpful if you can develop your capacity to live with hope (which I describe in detail in chapter 9 of the book).

I do have a suggestion for how to approach this. Figure out what engages you and you like to do. "Finding your passion" is a popular idea but I think that's a bit extreme. Most of us can be satisfied by what is interesting and even compelling. When you put your limited time and resources toward stuff that really makes you rock, you're more likely to be good at it.

And, getting very good at what you do is key. Being good at something (that you CAN do) makes you marketable. Any kind of work that creates new opportunities and improves your skills is good work at this point. Don't be distracted by the pay for now (unless, of course you've got a higher paying job offer that you can do).

Just focus on asking yourself: Do I like this and can I do it? Let's face it, chronic illness symptoms are a disadvantage. But when you get very good at something that you CAN DO, you've created an advantage for yourself.

Please be sure to check all the stops on the virtual tour, as each post and interview will give you more insight into Rosalind's book. Tomorrow Rosalind will be posting on The ICIExperience, so be sure to check out what she has to say there as well. Thanks for the post Rosalind, and good luck with the rest of the tour!

Back Into The Routine

Well, we survived the move. Notice I used the word "survive", because that's what it feels like--something akin to getting through a tough bout of illness or a car accident! The movers were awful and caused a lot of stress and a fair amount of damage. Trying to get back on-line with cable, internet and phone was another hassle. Thankfully, things are starting to get settled and we are unpacking and beginning to feel more at home.

The upside to all the turmoil is that the new place and neighborhood are totally worth what we went through to get here. The new house is wonderful, and once everything is unpacked and we are comfortable, we are going to be very happy here. We did take the time to walk around the neighborhood yesterday morning and were pleasantly surprised at how friendly and nice everyone is. Hey, I even had a positive experience with the local CVS! In fact, the day we moved in we got a visit from a neighbor with a "welcome basket" full of goodies (Irish Soda Bread and candy) as well as some really useful information like a local map, the local newspaper and a pamphlet about the town and all the activities and organizations it offers. It was so sweet and thoughtful, and believe me we have used each item in it already. It was ironic, because for the 2 years we lived in our house in North Carolina we made a welcome basket for each new neighbor, and not only did we not receive one when we moved there, we were never even thanked for doing it. Now if you are from North Carolina, please don't be offended, I am not picking on you. I think that is more the norm now in most parts of the country than what we experienced here. I didn't take it as a reflection on North Carolinian's, more on the state of affairs in our country as a whole. We have lost a sense of community and neighborliness.

All of this rambling leads me back to thinking about how difficult it can be to find help when we need it due to illness. Everyone is so busy these days with their own lives, that a lot of the time they don't think about the fact that people are in need of help, or they feel so overwhelmed by their own circumstances they don't offer to do for others for fear they will get locked into something they can't keep up with. During Invisible Illness Awareness Week, I found out about and was able to download the first 40 pages of Lisa Copen's book, "Beyond Casseroles: 505 Ways to Encourage a Chronically Ill Friend". What a treasure this book is, both for us who are chronically ill, and for those who care about us! It has really concrete ideas of things people can do to help friends who suffer from chronic illness, and she addresses the time concern factor with terrific ideas that take as little as 5 minutes to bigger time commitments should one be able to make them. I am ordering multiple copies to give to friends, family and church members. Maybe I am a Pollyanna, but I truly believe most people WANT to help, they just don't have any idea WHAT to do so they end up doing nothing, or doing something - while nice, which might not be the thing we really need.

I feel encouraged that with this move we are going to be able to start to build a better support system for ourselves, and to be a support to those we meet as well. As I mentioned in my post about being a friend, we have to model the behavior we want to receive. Sometimes when we are in pain or very fatigued, we have a tendency to think that people should just know what we want or need. Not only isn't that fair to others, it is self defeating as well. How can someone meet your expectation if you never state it clearly?

Before I end this post, I am excited to announce that Rosalind Joffe, author of "Women, Work and Autoimmune Disease: Keep Working, Girlfriend!" and career coach and founder of CiCoach.com, will be doing a guest post on this blog in November! I am so honored to have her writing here and look forward to sharing more details with all of you soon!