Trying to Get The Feeling Again!

I'm sitting here, thinking about all that has happened this weekend - the terrorist attacks in India, the trampling death of a man about 15 mins. away from my house at a K-Mart as he tried to open the doors for "black Friday shoppers", and I am wondering if I can find the Christmas spirit. What's going on with people? We've stopped seeing other human beings, as people, others have become things that stand in our way, our way of getting a good buy, our way of saying how everyone else should live or believe. . .

I pray for all the souls who were murdered in India, for those injured and for the friends and families of all the victims. I even pray for the terrorists, which I know some of you will hate, but you see we are all made in God's image, so it HIS place to pass judgment, not mine. Of course I hate their actions, and I won't even try to defend them, but I don't get to know what happens, only God does.

I'm reminded of how things felt here after the attacks of Sept. 11, 2001. How scared we all were, how for a brief time we all pulled together as one. I had hoped it would last longer than it did, I hope it will for India.

Christmas is coming, the day, that if you are a Christian changes everything. I can't and I won't let that be taken from me. There is too much good in the world to let the bad and evil win. I hope that we will all remember as we head into these holidays that they aren't about gifts, parties and food, not that you can't celebrate with those things - but you shouldn't allow those things to start to mean more than what Christmas does.

In these desperate economic times, look into your heart and see what you are capable of this season. Can you afford to help a charity out, whether it is financially or with your time? Can you afford not to? None of us makes it on our own, we all have help and support from someone. We have the chance to be that someone, that is a gift and a blessing. Share yourself this holiday season, you won't regret it. You'll never give without receiving!

Happy Thanksgiving!

I just wanted to add a quick post to say how thankful I am for this blog, and for all of you who read it and comment on it. It has been a blessing to me, and I hope at one time or another it has helped you too! I pray all of you are having a good Thanksgiving (if you live where it is celebrated!) and that we all try to hold the spirit of thankfulness in our hearts each day of the year.

Last year at this time, I really didn't think I would be alive at Christmas, and I am so thankful for all that has happened (the good and the bad) this year, and that I still here! I am thankful for my mother, my friends, my God and each and every day I am given.

Have a wonderful day!

Wordless Wednesday - Flower Power!

Okay, it should be pretty obvious that I love flowers, and I love taking pictures of flowers!

People complained about this shot because the beetle is bad for the flower - I didn't put him there, I just photographed him!

Is there anything cooler than a bee pollinating?

I wanted to delete this one and didn't know how. . . still learning to blog!

Hope you enjoyed this week's version of Wordless Wednesday, please take the time to sign in below and leave a comment! THANK YOU and HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Anyone Got A Spare Oven?

Our oven isn't working, and our landlord isn't getting a handyman over until Wednesday morning to look at it. We may be without Thanksgiving dinner--Anyone got an oven we can borrow? I REALLY want my turkey dinner, HELP!!

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

Wow, I have been one neglectful blogger!! I apologize to all of you who regularly check for new content, it really has been too long since I last posted something new. It's been a combination of factors from health to personal, and I have several rants started that at some point I might just post. . .

Anyway, I am still awaiting an answer on my thyroid biopsy (taken last Wed.) and have a few other critical health issues going on. Despite those things, I had a nice weekend. I met a funny, smart, kind woman who has become a new friend since moving to our diggs in October, and we got together on Saturday for tea and scones. She then took me around town and showed me where there are some great shops I didn't know about. It is so wonderful to live in an area where the people are friendly and kind, especially after where we've been living for the past year.

Saturday evening mom and I had a friend over for pizza and a movie (hey in these economic times a movie from the library and a pizza is a big night!). We watched one of my all time favorite film noir classics "Double Indemnity"! I never tire of a great film with snappy dialog and witty banter.

Sunday we tried a new parish close to home for Mass, which was very good. They just refurbished the church and it looked beautiful. After Mass, despite the freezing temperatures, we took a nice walk. I had promised my mom that I would bring her over to the area my friend had shown me on Saturday and let her see some of the shops for herself. We both love 5 & 10 cent stores (variety stores, whatever you call them where you live!). They have become a lost breed and I was so excited to discover one right here in town. We spent a good amount of time just browsing in there and discovering all the neat stuff they carry that you can't find anywhere anymore.

I've been a bit frustrated lately, between doctor's appointments and dealing with pharmacy and cable issues and the frustrations of living life with so many chronic illnesses, it's had me down. It was nice to have a weekend away from all that, with friends and family. Of course now I am paying (physically) for the activity, but once in awhile you've got to push yourself and pay for it later. I am suffering from vertigo, so I can't read or write a long post. Hopefully it will be a short bout this time.

So that's what new in my neck of the woods, what's up with YOU? I really want to know. . .

Virtual Book Tour: "Women Work and Autoimmune Disease: Keep Working Girlfriend"

It is my pleasure today to present a guest post written by Rosalind Joffe, co-author of "Women Work and Autoimmune Disease: Keep Working Girlfriend!". Rosalind, president of cicoach.com, a resource for professionals with chronic illness, is a chronic illness career coach. In addition, she is also a chronic illness patient herself, so she has a unique understanding and perspective on the subject of working and chronic illness.

This guest post is part of Ms. Joffe's virtual book tour, which started on Nov. 3, 2008 at Rhymes With Migraine and has included guest posts, interviews and book reviews related to her new book. For more information on all the stops of the tour, or to purchase a copy of Rosalind's book, please visit her website at cicoach.com.

Chronic illness makes it impossible to keep working. You've hit the wall. Clearly you've got to do something different, but what?

Maybe you stopped working to get your mental, physical and psychic energy back. But when (and if) you're ready to return to work, are you asking yourself: if I couldn't do that job before, what makes me think I can do it now? What if nothing has really changed? The same symptoms that get worse and better over time are still there. Add the repetitive stressors you had at work and you know you'll be out of work again.

This is a pretty typical scenario for people with debilitating chronic illness symptoms. It's tough to give up a career track, especially when you've put time, energy and money into training and developing skills.

When you can't use your skills (e.g., a plastic surgeon, has multiple sclerosis and has numb fingers) or you can't do the jobs that are available for people with your skills (e.g., a day care center manager with severe chronic asthma and can't be around young children), you might feel hopeless about ever working again.

I describe the value of work in my book, Women, Work and Autoimmune Disease: Keep Working Girlfriend! I've learned that although I live with with multiple sclerosis, I need to work. Yes, for financial reasons, but primarily, for the mental stimulation and emotional reward. I worked even when it meant recasting my skills in a different arena and drastic pay cut.

For some, working may be an impossible task. For many, however, working is an option if only we think about it differently. Think differently about the salary you need, the amount and degree of responsibilities you accept, and your life goals, you're more likely to develop a new career that allows you to be more than just your illness.

This isn't a simple thing to do. It requires you take a strategic, long view. It's also helpful if you can develop your capacity to live with hope (which I describe in detail in chapter 9 of the book).

I do have a suggestion for how to approach this. Figure out what engages you and you like to do. "Finding your passion" is a popular idea but I think that's a bit extreme. Most of us can be satisfied by what is interesting and even compelling. When you put your limited time and resources toward stuff that really makes you rock, you're more likely to be good at it.

And, getting very good at what you do is key. Being good at something (that you CAN do) makes you marketable. Any kind of work that creates new opportunities and improves your skills is good work at this point. Don't be distracted by the pay for now (unless, of course you've got a higher paying job offer that you can do).

Just focus on asking yourself: Do I like this and can I do it? Let's face it, chronic illness symptoms are a disadvantage. But when you get very good at something that you CAN DO, you've created an advantage for yourself.

Please be sure to check all the stops on the virtual tour, as each post and interview will give you more insight into Rosalind's book. Tomorrow Rosalind will be posting on The ICIExperience, so be sure to check out what she has to say there as well. Thanks for the post Rosalind, and good luck with the rest of the tour!

True Gratitude!

One of my favorite things about blogging are the other incredible bloggers you meet. I participate in Wordless Wednesday and Photo Hunt Saturdays, and through these forums have met bloggers from every country and walk of life. One of my favorites is Terry, from the blog Notes From One Mom. We "met" through our comments on each others photos. Terry, having read my profile, shared with me that she is the caregiver to her husband, who has had a stroke, as well as a patient with a chronic illness herself. I love her writing and her upbeat, positive outlook on life. She had a post on her site about her husband that she had written that touched me so deeply, I asked her permission to share it on my blog. I think it is such a powerful expression of love and understanding, and it certainly made me realize that despite our illness, the ones who really know and love us, see the whole person--not the illness or disability. I hope you will find it as beautiful as I did, and perhaps you will be inspired to write to someone in your life who you are thankful for.

Without further ado, here is the entire post:


Thursday, November 6, 2008
Thursday Thirteen: My Husband, My Hero



This is the month when giving thanks is on our minds. Having almost lost my husband more than once in the past thirteen years, I am grateful for every single day that he is still with us. He is my hero and here are my top thirteen reasons why.

1. He is a survivor. He survived rheumatic fever as an infant, polio as a child, 3 heart attacks before he was 50 and a stroke before he was 60.

2. He doesn't know the meaning of "can't." In between his childhood ailments and his adult illnesses, he played baseball, hockey, college and professional football. He even ran the Marine Corp Marathon when he was 40.

3. He never, never gives up. No matter what life throws at him, he is always positive. His first words after his stroke were, "I love you." His next sentence, although it took 3 days to compose and several minutes and some coaching to voice, was, "It's going to be alright."

4. He is a funny man. He loves to make people laugh. Nowadays he doesn't tell the jokes but he will still appreciate and laugh at yours.

5. I came into his life as a package deal, complete with three sons. He has loved them, helped to raise them, disciplined them, guided them, supported them in the good times and not so good times, and has always, always been there for them.

6. He is driven. Probably a little too driven at times, but that determination is now what enables him to deal with his disabilities on a daily basis. It's what got him walking after his stroke. It's what got him out on the golf course again with a one-arm golf swing. It's what gets him going every single day.

7. He is a supporter to those around him, whether it be me, our children, friends or neighbors, he always encourages those around him to succeed.

8. Not a day goes by, probably not more than a couple of hours, that he doesn't tell me how much he loves me and appreciates me.

9. He is the designated dishwasher loader/unloader in the family. And if I ask him, he will also do floors :)

10. Since his stroke in 2004, he had tried unsuccessfully to read a book - until this summer when he read the New Testament. He worked at it every single day and was as excited as a child who had mastered riding his first bicycle when he finished.

11. He loves life. Although much different than it was or than he expected it would ever be, he is content.

12. He notices and appreciates the details. Coffee and freshly baked muffins, a drive around the island, a walk on the beach, he takes pleasure in the small things that others often take for granted.

13. Last, but not in any way the least, he loves the Lord. And he knows the Lord loves him.


Posted by One Mom at 1:02 AM 6 comments Links to this post
Labels: giving thanks, husband, stroke survivor, Thursday Thirteen

Wordless Wednesday - Fall's Last Hurrah

One of the things I am thankful for is living in an area where the trees change color each Fall. Nature puts on such a beautiful display, and all I have to do is sit back and enjoy it. In honor of the end of that season, I present my fall colors for you to enjoy from the privacy of your very own room!

Ah, the reds and oranges. . .

Up to the sky to see one color fade into the next. . .

The brilliant oranges. . .

The greens turn to the yellow-tree road. . .

The Japanese Maple in all its glory!

Remembering Our Veterans

Today is Veterans Day here in the United States, and I can think of no better way to honor the men and women who have served our country throughout the years than to share with you a wonderful poem. This poem was written by my very dear friend, Msgr. Charles R. Fink, who is now a catholic priest and in charge of the spiritual formation of the young men entering the priesthood in our diocese. Back in his early twenties, Msgr. Fink served our country as an infantry soldier during the Vietnam War. He was injured during an ambush, but continued to serve after recovering. He is a hero to me, as are all the men and women who have served our country and put themselves in harm's way to keep us safe. This poem is a beautiful expression of the bond and commitment these soldiers have for one another. I hope you will share it with those you love today as you remember our service men and women. Please be sure if you do copy the poem, that you credit the author, Msgr. Charles R. Fink, this is not my own writing, but his, and I have received his permission to use his work here.

Bury Me with Soldiers

I’ve played a lot of roles in life;
I’ve met a lot of men;
I’ve done some things I’d like to think
I wouldn’t do again.
And though I’m young, I’m old enough
To know someday I’ll die,
And think about what lies beyond,
Beside whom I would lie.

Perhaps it doesn’t matter much;
Still, if I had my choice,
I’d want a grave ‘mongst soldiers when
At last death quells my voice.
I’m sick of the hypocrisy
Of lectures by the wise.
I’ll take the man, with all his flaws,
Who goes, though scared, and dies.

The troops I knew were commonplace:
They didn’t want the war;
They fought because their fathers and
Their fathers had before.
They cursed and killed and wept—God knows
They’re easy to deride—
But bury me with men like these;
They faced the guns and died.

It’s funny, when you think of it,
The way we got along.
We’d come from different worlds
To live in one no one belongs.
I didn’t even like them all;
I’m sure they’d all agree.
Yet I would give my life for them,
I hope; some did for me.

So bury me with soldiers, please,
Though much maligned they be.
Yes, bury me with soldiers, for
I miss their company.
We’ll not soon see their like again;
We’ve had our fill of war.
But bury me with men like them
Till someone else does more.

--Charles R. Fink (Vietnam 3/69-3/70, 199th LIB)

Lemonade Award

I am thankful to Jeanne, of Jeanne's Endo Blog for awarding this blog the Lemonade Award!

This award is given to blogs demonstrating a attitude of gratitude.


Jeanne's Endo Blog is full is full of practical, helpful information-not just on endometriosis, but on a variety of chronic illnesses and other topics. Jeanne is a dedicated, thorough and tireless advocate, whose passion is an inspiration. She consistently writes thought provoking articles that touch many and I am very honored that she has chosen this blog to receive this award!

In keeping with the awards tradition, I will now honor 10 other blogs with the lemonade award, as follows:

1. Getting Closer To Myself

2. My Chronic Life

3. Renee's Reflections

4. Harvesting Hope From Heartache

5. My Life Works Today

6. Notes from One Mom

7. Life in the Autoimmune Lane

8. Rhymes With Migraine

9. Daisy The Curly Cat

10. Rambling & Writings

Photo Hunters - Together With Celebrities

The posted three pictures are of me with a different celebrity in each photo. I'll give extra points to the person who can name all three celebrities!

Mom, Myself and ?

Okay, now if this doesn't make a girl feel bad about herself, what will? Who do you think this is with me?

Writing Exercise

I am lucky enough to be a part of a terrific writers group. We meet monthly to share what we are working on, we have guest speakers and of course we do writing exercises. Usually we only have a few minutes left at the end of our meeting, so we do a quick 5 minute prompt exercise. The leader gives us a word or phase, and we write whatever comes to mind based on it. It is always fun to see what people come up with, how we each interpret the same thing in so many different and unique ways. We have prose and poetry writers, so it makes it extra fun and interesting.

Recently we were given the prompt 'another choice' and this is what I wrote:

Sometimes I feel like if I am faced with another choice I will scream, really lose it completely. When did life get so complicated? Why do I have over 800 channels and yet still nothing on TV that I want to watch? When I go to buy an item on the Internet, why do I get 46,344 matches to wade through? I long for a simpler time, when my biggest decision was chocolate or vanilla. What other people seem to revel in as an abundance of choice, just leaves me feeling overwhelmed and exhausted. Let someone else choose, I'm sitting this one out.

It certainly isn't my best piece of writing, but I share it with you here because I seemed to have hit a nerve, it got so much response from the class. Everyone seems to have that same overwhelmed feeling, and I am wondering what you think?

On another topic completely, I want to remind everyone that Rosalind Joffe's virtual book tour began this week. Follow her through the week at these blogs:

Rhymes With Migraine
Somebody Heal Me
Much To My Sjogren
How To Cope With Pain

There are guest blogs, interviews and answers to readers questions. All of the posts will give you a better idea of what the book, and Ms. Joffe, are all about. And remember, Rosalind will be doing a guest post here on Nov. 20th as part of her virtual tour, so please come back and check that out as well.

Bring on the Kleenex

Okay first I have to admit, I wasn't planning to post today. I am not feeling well and I thought, so I'll skip a day, it'll be alright. It isn't like what I have to say changes the world or anything! Then I was reading posts on BlogBlast For Peace, and since I am a new to the blogosphere I didn't know about this and felt intimidated. Another reason to sit the day out.

Then I got a phone call that changed everything. I haven't posted about this before so I need to give you some background information. I am the youngest of four children. My oldest brother, Bob, who is 51 yrs.old, has always been my "big" brother. He was the one who looked after me when I was younger, who chased the wrong kid down the block and threatened to kill him for slapping me so hard he left a hand print on my back when I was 8 years old. He helped me through our parents divorce, my teen years and first starting out on my own. He didn't always like all my choices, but he had my back and I knew it.

This January, while I was going through the battle of my life health-wise, and mom and I were basically homeless trying to get re-established here in New York with doctors, a place to live, etc. . my big brother suffered a heart attack. His wife, knowing we had a lot going on didn't call right away. They told her he was going to be fine, they put a stent in and he would be home by the weekend, they'd call us then. But he wasn't fine. He developed something called A.R.D.S. (Acute Respiratory Distress Syndrome) and lapsed into a coma before we even knew what had happened.

It would be over five months before he battled his way out of that coma. The doctors and nurses weren't hopeful he'd make it, even less that he recover to any degree if he did. He was on a ventilator, dialysis, feeding tubes and was paralyzed for his own protection. When we visited he had so much equipment hooked up it was hard to find a place you could touch him. He was bloated beyond recognition from the medications and the infections.

My brother is a wonderful husband and father to two boys, one who finished his senior year during all of this, and the other who is in middle school. His wife spent the first 6 months traveling over 2 hours each way everyday no matter the weather to be there with him. She never gave up hope, no matter how heartless or cruel the staff at the hospital or rehabilitation facility were. Mom and I went to visit as often as health would allow, usually every other day. It was grueling and painful.

Finally, about a week after Easter he woke up from the coma. He couldn't speak, eat, move and had no idea what had happened, but he was back. Eventually he was moved to a rehabilitation facility closer to his wife and kids, where he has remained since early June.

This afternoon the phone rang and it turned out to be my brother (we have never been able to speak with him on the phone, he couldn't hold it or dial it!). He will be going home in a few weeks!!! He won't ever be the way he was before all this happened, BUT HE IS GOING HOME!! My big brother will finally get to be with his wife and kids, back in the home they have built for 27 years together, through the good and the bad.

My very good friend, who also happens to be a priest, says there is no such thing as coincidence, that coincidence is merely God choosing to remain in the background. Well, thank you God for using BlogBlast For Peace to bring Bob home! I ask for everyone who reads this to please pray for my brother and for his family, they have a long road ahead of them. They have financial problems beyond telling, physical hurdles and adjustments we can't even know of yet--but Bob is not only alive, he is well and my heart is filled with joy and yes, PEACE!

Wordless Wednesday - That's Gotta Hurt!

Can you imagine trying to do this?!

Adventures in Voting

Since I moved at the beginning of October, I was very careful to mind my states deadline for submitting a change of address and still being eligible to vote in this election. Here in NY, that deadline was Oct. 15, 2008. I made sure my paperwork was mailed in plenty of time to be received and processed. In fact, my mother and I mailed ours the same day, from the same mailbox. Well I guess you see where this is heading by now. . .

We showed up to vote, and mom is on the rolls, I am not. Despite having copies of my change of address, new lease, etc... I was told I would need to fill out a paper ballot that might be counted later in the night or to call or go to the local Board of Elections. I choose to leave and drive the 4o mins. to my old polling place to vote. I honestly didn't believe that if I filled out a paper ballot it would get counted, and my vote matters to me. For the first time when registering to vote, I choose not to affiliate with any party, and I can't shake the sinking feeling that it may have had something to do with me not appearing on the rolls. The undecided vote is supposed to be a big factor in this election. My mother did choose a party affiliation, and she did appear on the rolls.

I am just grateful that this move was a local one and I was able to get to an old polling place and still vote. My last two moves have been from state to state, so obviously I wouldn't have been able to get back there to vote.

I plan to contact the Board of Elections after the election is over to check into the status of my registration and make sure it gets straightened out. I wonder how many other people will have problems when they try to vote today?

Is It Just ME?

Something that has come up over and over again during all my time with chronic illness is how to handle scheduling when your life isn't always predictable. I am finding it an issue once again, in the personal realm of things this time.

I try to be upfront with people about my illness. I find it makes it easier to find out right away if they can handle it or not, because frankly I have reached a point in life where I just don't have the time or energy to waste on those who can't understand. I recently moved (as I blogged about earlier this month) and so have come to meet some new people. I am still going through a lot of sickness at the moment, stuff in addition to my regular chronic illnesses. I am seeing an infectious disease doctor, I have CT scan scheduled for Wednesday and a procedure at the GYN this afternoon. On top of all of this, my mother has developed a re-occurrence of C. Diff, which she contracted in the hospital in late Aug./early Sept. We have a lot going on.

I met someone who had asked me to get together and I explained that the day in question was free at the moment, but that between not feeling well, and waiting to hear when tests (like todays GYN visit or the CAT scan) would happen, that might change. I felt I was being clear and honest. Last Thursday when I spoke to the GYN and found out I had to schedule this procedure today, I let my friend know that today wouldn't be a good time for getting together. This person went ahead and got tickets to a hockey game for tonight. I got a phone message yesterday to the effect that he hoped I would be able to make it since my doctor was at 4pm (which isn't the right time, but still. . .) and the game would start around 7pm and we could "catch some dinner before". Now I don't know about you, but I am not particularly fond of having a GYN procedure, hopping off the table and into rush hour traffic to go meet someone whom I don't know well, and then sitting through a hockey game. Another night I would love to do this. Had I not been clear when I told him that I had a doctor appointment scheduled for today I would feel guilty. Instead I feel angry and a bit manipulated.

It's a circumstance I've become too familiar with over the years. People hear what they want to hear, and then make you out to be the bad guy when things don't go as planned. It is disappointing enough to have to bow out of plans you would really like to keep, without the added guilt that goes along with this sort of behavior. I know the tickets weren't cheap. They also probably weren't easy to get on short notice. I just wish that instead of getting them and telling me about it after the fact, I had been consulted.

Do others find that even when they try to be open and honest about their health and the limits it puts on them, others seem to expect more than you can deliver? How do you handle this? I want to make new friends and keep myself open to new experiences, but I don't want to feel like a bad person when my body simply isn't cooperating. Any thoughts?

Rosalind Joffe's Virtual Book Tour Starts Tomorrow

As I have posted before, I am participating in Rosalind Joffe's Virtual Book Tour. Rosalind has co-authored a book titled, 'Women, Work, and Autoimmune Disease - Keep Working Girlfriend!'. She will be doing a series of events beginning tomorrow, November 3, 2008 on a different blog each day. Some of the blogs will have interviews, some will have book reviews and some (like mine) will have a guest post written by Rosalind. This will give you a good idea of what Rosalind and her book are all about. The event kicks off tomorrow at Rhymes With Migraine and a guest post by Rosalind.

This is an interesting and exciting way to learn more about the book, and about the author. Please check Rosalind's site Working With Chronic Illness each day to see which blog she will be featured on that day. Check back here on November 20, 2008 for a post on developing your skills to be the most valuable YOU you can be, and why that is so important both in work and personal life with chronic illness.

Photo Hunters: Blue

The berries are blue!

I love to photograph flowers, but I couldn't find a lot of blue ones!

Notice my beautiful blue eyes and how grandma's jean color sets them off!!

I love to sit on blue things, or in a blue room to set off my eyes. A girl has to show off her assets you know!

Go to Photohunt or Daisy The Curly Cat

Only 3 Days Left Until The Election - Make Your Voice Heard!

I just was reading a post over at Getting Closer To Myself, and Leslie had a great link to a video from The Partnership to Fight Chronic Diseases we all need to see and pass along. I am posting the link here, in the hopes that you will watch it, and pass it along to others.

Chronic illness obviously touches my life, but it touches all of us, sick or not, in the cost of health care. We need to make sure that this is a priority this election. Many of my fellow chronic illness bloggers have written terrific posts on this subject, but the most important thing we can do is VOTE! In order to vote, we must educate ourselves on where each candidate stands on important issues, especially health care.

I previously posted links from The New England Journal of Medicine website which show each candidate's stand on health care. I will list those again here:

• For John McCain
• For Barack Obama
  

Another resource is The Kaiser Family Foundation 2008 Presidential Candidate Health Care Proposals: Side By Side Summary

Voting is a very personal thing, and many factors go into choosing the right candidate for each person. Please take the time now to decide for yourself what your most important issues are, and to do a little research into where each candidate stands on those issues. We are so blessed to live in a country where we can vote our free will and we must not take that freedom lightly. I am not endorsing any candidate, I am just asking all of you to use your minds, hearts and consciences and VOTE!