PAIN!! It's back--not a surprise, but certainly not a thrill either. I am doing my best to cope. I am using the relaxation techniques I have been taught, using positive self-talk and distracting myself with good things as much as possible.
Tomorrow I will call the pain management doctor, who will no doubt be skeptical that "such a small drop in dosage would increase your pain". I will carefully explain to him what is going on, that I felt I should call before the pain got out of control, before I had to interrupt his weekend. He will hem and haw and eventually come up with a game plan. I will be exhausted before the call ends and feel like someone wrung me out physically and emotionally.
It all comes back to balance--trying to balance the pain with being able to function. Trying to balance having a life with chronic illness that involves more than medication, doctors appointments and prescriptions. Trying to live an authentic life, one that is true to who I really am, without being whiny or pitying. Trying, once again, to get others to understand that it isn't a choice, that we all do the best we can each day. Trying to balance caring for my mom, who is also ill, with caring for myself.
I would love to hear your feedback. How do you balance your lives? How have you gotten through, either to doctors, friends, loved ones or strangers? What coping mechanisms do you use for your pain, fatigue and the endless other symptoms we all live with?
For more information I have attached links from the New England Journal of Medicine on each candidates stand on health care:
For John McCain
For Barack Obama
Unfortunately, these articles point out what I have been saying all along, neither candidate has a sufficient answer to the health care crisis. Until we fix our broken system, I don't think anyone will.
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